The Kleeman Report

Thursday, December 22, 2016

NES Review From Z - A: Part IV: Super Mario!



It has now been a week since I was going to write this blog.  Why have I taken so long?  Mario.  That and, well, life.  Kids coming, holidays are here, Shameless binge watch complete, time to get to that review of the best gaming series in history (sorry Ratchet and Clank!).

SUPER MARIO BROS!

Image result for mario and luigi

I usually review a lot more games than just three, but these three games are so iconic, I decided to cover this because without Mario, I probably wouldn't be writing a blog that 104 people read (thanks guys!).

So I've had Mario in my life as long as I can remember.  I grew up playing Super Mario Bros. 1-3 on the original NES.  I begged my mom to get me a Super Nintendo (SNES), just so I could play Super Mario World.  In between that, Mario taught me how to drive horribly in Mario Kart.  At the tail end of the SNES, I rented my favorite game, Super Mario RPG so many times, the jerk kid at the video store told me I should just buy it.  Then that let to Super Smash Bros and even more Mario Kart in college.  I love Mario.

Now with the release of Super Mario Run on the iPhone, I've gotten in the bad habit of playing it...a lot.  I haven't splurged yet on the other levels, but you want some tips on levels 1-3, you got it, just text me.

*message to Nintendo, don't release a game for 9.99 just to have it so you can only play 3 levels.  I get the money grab aspect of this.  How about starting off with 4-8 levels, then making us pay? 

Long story short, I love Super Mario, and occasionally Luigi...oh and definitely Peach.

Image result for princess peach

So with this review, I will be covering 1-3.  Not the original Mario Bros. game, which in it's own right is fun, but it's just, well, it's a whole lot of jumping, but worth adding to your collection.

Image result for mario bros original

So let's start, backwards as usual, with arguably the best game released on the Nintendo Entertainment System.

Super Mario Bros. 3


This game is so good it even came with it's own Fred Savage starring commercial...um....I mean movie.

*Nintendo, to appease for your mistakes of Super Mario Run, please come out with a sequel to The Wizard, title it "The Wizard: Lucas's Revenge" with complete original cast.  Please and thanks.

Image result for the wizard movie

Back to the game.  It's pretty amazing.  Easily a top all time game, let alone all time top NES game.

The game is so in-depth, there are hidden parts of levels all over the place.  Hell, it was the first time I ever used a strategy guide as a kid, just to see what else I was missing (basically everything).  It also turned me on to the fun of gambling and guessing cards, great job NES!

The game still holds up today, it's fun as hell, and on my replay, even though I didn't want to, I warped, just to try to beat it in record time.


Did I beat it on my replay?  No, but only because I was in a hurry to get this article done...a week ago...the same article that I am just now writing.  So I'll try to beat the game before my kid is born... maybe.

For your collection, this, and spoiler alert, every game in this blog review are must own.

Super Mario Bros 2.

This is one of the most underrated games ever made.  Mario 2 started out as a game without Mario at all.

Originally called Yume Kojo, Mario was integrated in to this game after people found the original sequel to Super Mario too difficult (which if you had/have an SNES, you can play the difficult levels on Super Mario All-Stars).

The fun part about this game, you get to play as 4 playable characters: Mario, Luigi, Toad and Peach.
Each character had their own strengths, and it also led to my intense hate of anything Luigi related, simply because it's so damn hard to play with his feet always wiggling around.

Image result for super mario 2 character

It also was the first time you got to take on Birdo, quite possibly the first trans videogame character.
This was a game truly ahead of its time.

Image result for super mario 2 nes birdo

Also this is one of the few Mario games where Bowser isn't the main enemy, it's a villain named Wart.

Image result for super mario 2 boss

Which naming him Wart seemingly follows the trend of naming NES characters after deformities, looking at you Battletoads characters!

Image result for battletoads characters

* Nintendo, can someone, anyone, get a Battletoads remake in motion?!  ANYBODY!?

Super Mario 2 is great, another must own.  That now leads us to the game that started it all.

Super Mario Bros.


I have the classic Mario Bros/Duck Hunt double cartridge.  (I won't talk much of Duck Hunt, we all know Duck Hunt is great, but I can't play it as my NES gun doesn't reflect off of these new fangled TV's.... so my review of Duck Hunt, it's really fun...for 10 minutes...there).

I have played Super Mario so much, I can beat the first level with my eyes closed (thanks college, and to one of my best chums Eric "Ras" Rasmussen for that idea).  We played Mario so much we came up with our own challenges.  Playing the first level without powering up while intoxicated (tasks, tasks, all these tasks!), we also tried to speed beat it, trying to emulate this:


Incredible.  Even more incredible that it still holds up today.  When I replayed this, I decided to go through some levels, and really take my time to enjoy how fun it was, even taking the time to find this coin box on my first try:


Still got it.  I would've done the middle finger trick, but I didn't do it that day, sorry.

I didn't defeat this quite as quick as the speedy guy, but I did still defeat it.  It's one of those games you put in if you want to feel dominant in this age of insanely hard and insanely time consuming video games.  It's great.  It's probably why Mario Run is comparable to this game, for the simplicity of it.

So yes, you have an NES collection, you obviously own these.  Now a couple of fun observations about the Mario series, in no particular order.

- clearly the first issue, is it Mario Mario and Luigi Mario?  The Mario Bros?  Or is Mario the man with no name.  Or is there some Fight Club thing going on with Luigi?
- how does Peach always get kidnapped?  She seems like she can hold her own, just judging from Smash Bros.  So maybe in a sequel it'll be revealed she's in to these kinda things?  Likes being captured.  Maybe she's in to Bowser...speaking of which.
- I have somehow made it this entire blog without talking about the main villain of the Mario series, but why does he keep going after Mario?  Isn't he just gonna give up after the 6th or 7th time of losing?  Also, Mario has literally murdered all of Bower's kids...so who is the real hero, huh!?
- Do you think Luigi has a complex?  Mario gets all the attention, he gets Peach.  No wonder there's a rumor about the game Luigi's Mansion where he killed himself.  Poor guy.

Image result for luigi noose

- This thought is for later games, but I gotta touch on Yoshi here.  Is Yoshi a species?  It's not one particular pet or dinosaur or whatever the hell Yoshi is, main reason for that?  This video about sums it up:



Well that's all you're gonna get out of me today for Mario related things, I've already been away from Super Mario Run for much too long.  I hope you enjoyed this blog as much as I had writing it.

Next week will have a recap of the year 2016, and why it wasn't so bad.  I mean, there's gotta be some reasons right!?  Right!?!?!

Thanks for reading as always you beautiful people.

Jeff Kleeman

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