Table for 6

As promised, I will be bringing some of my favorite blogs over to the new site.  One of my all time favorites is "Table for 6", where I asked my friends to list 5 people who they would choose to have a dinner with.  Here are the results.  Enjoy.

Table for 6

Not the table I would choose

If you were to choose 5 celebrities to go out on the town with, who would you pick?  It is a question I've discussed with my friends many times.  It is quite the interesting question.  In a way, I believe it shows the kind of person you are.  If you choose a group of comedians, you want to laugh and have a good time.  If you choose grown up Disney stars, you want to get naughty.  And if you choose anyone in the picture above, I do NOT want to hang out with you.  Sorry Tito Ortiz!



So I put this question to a majority of my friends.  Five celebrities that you would go out with, for one night.  Get some dinner, maybe some drinks, and then party!

I'll throw my list here, just so it's out in the open:

1. George Clooney
2. Bill Murray
3. Will Ferrell
4. Chris Pratt
5. The Rock

A lot of the answers from my survey honestly weren't surprising, considering my friends and I have the same taste, but some...wow, some were quite interesting.

The following results will show the top 5 celebrities chosen, as well some I found to be very interesting.  So let's get started!

Most Underrated (Male)

Bill Hader




Bill Hader nearly made my top 5.  Honestly he probably should have.  He is hilarious.  Plus I'm a huge Saturday Night Live fan.  Just finding out how he came up with Stefon would be phenomenal.





Most Underrated (Female)

Leslie Mann



A lot of girls polled went with the Mount Rushmore of cool women celebs, which I'll cover later.  But an underrated one not on that list is Leslie Mann.  She's sneaky hot, pretty funny, and it seems like she'd be down to drink...a lot.  Also she's married to Judd Apatow, so I feel any guy should have a chance.




As a quick aside, I love Judd Apatow, I just think he hit this one out of the ballpark.

The Charlotte McKinney Award

Charlotte McKinney




I'm gonna guess she was selected for her work in the Hardee's commercial, right?

Wildcard Award

Will Forte

Last Man on Earth is amazing.  Everyone should watch it.  I'm also stating that he may be the funniest of the post-Will Ferrell SNL cast.  An awesome choice, with or without the beard.

The "How Would He Actually Be?" Award

Louis CK



I think he'd be a blast.  He's one of the funniest people alive (and some day, dead) ever.  I think he may get bored with me, or the group, eventually.  He might be a drag, which is alright, it's his thing.  But if I'm out for the night, I want my company to be in a good mood, right?!

The "Jon Lajoie Was Selected?" Award

Jon Lajoie



He is hilarious, there is no arguing that.  I was shocked he was chosen.  I feel we would make up songs all night, damn it, on second thought, he should've made my list.

The "Crank Was Awesome" Award

Jason Statham

The dude is pretty awesome.  I also wanted to include him somehow, simply because of how awesome the movie Crank is.  So to the people who selected him, I salute you.  Now go watch Crank and enjoy your life!



The "Will Have Your Back In a Fight" Award

Ronda Rousey



She could probably out drink the majority of people reading this article.  And beat them up if they got too fresh.

WTF Part 1 Award

Eugene Mirman



I have never heard of this guy before.  But from what I was told, he is quite the stand up, and after watching his clips, that is true.

He also kinda looks like a heavier version of my friend David Venhuizen, who is also a stand up...weird.  

I think this is fate, time for them to meet and make a show about waking up next to a dead deer out in the country.  

WTF Part 2 Award

Sasha Banks

A few pro wrestlers made the list, but only one WWE Diva made the list.  Sorry Paige!



The Boss, Sasha Banks.  She does look pretty fun to hang out with, after all, she is Snoop Dogg's cousin!  Also she's probably the best female talent they have wrestling wide (again, sorry Paige!)

Also buy her merch.

Sasha Banks swag

The "Really!?" Award

James Van Der Beek

This was one of the weirdest entries, it's so weird I had to add it weeks after originally posting this.  Why you may ask?  Because of this scene he was chosen, that's why.

The "You May Be a Witness If You Party With Him" Award

Patrick Kane

He would be a gas, and since he's a famous athlete, you can reap the benefits of his leftovers.  This does come with a warning though, he did get in some trouble, so maybe some caution is advised.

The "Oh, Hi Eva Green" Award

Eva Green

Oh...hey Eva Green.

The "Your Partner, No Matter the Sex, Will be Jealous" Award

Amber Heard



She likes hot dogs, she likes tacos.  No matter the sex or orientation you are, you better not go out with this girl.  You may as well just call it a night.

The Trainwreck Award

Miley Cyrus/Amanda Bynes/Lindsay Lohan



So with these three former child stars selected, the obvious reason is that they are attractive.  Also, they are known for partying and being batshit crazy.  I get it.  But if you think you're getting the three top pictures, you are not.  You are getting this:



Enjoy!  Because I'm gonna pass.  But I can't fault you for going out with them, simply for the stories.

The "How Did They Not Get More Votes?" Award

Jimmy Fallon and Justin Timberlake



Would have thought they would get more votes here.  But...well, they didn't.  These two are also the main guys in my favorite SNL skit of all time.



But I feel they would just be talking to each other the whole time anyway.  The following skit is a great example of why I think that.

The Mount Rushmore of Female Comedians Who Didn't Make the Cut Award

Kristen Wiig/Amy Poehler/Tina Fey/Amy Schumer



All of these girls are awesome.  You would hang out with them if you were a guy or a girl.  You would also try to sleep with them if you were both as well.

All came very close to reaching the Top 5.  Each barely missing.  Speaking of which.

Near Misses:

Danny McBride/Vince Vaughn



Both would be awesome to go out with.  But do you feel you wouldn't get a word in with either?  Especially if McBride is in character.  Vaughn would definitely be down to party though..



Most Notable Exclusion From the Top 5

Leonardo DiCaprio



He came right in at sixth, and I don't think he minds.  In fact, I think he would be offended if he had to go out for a night with any of the top 5.  More girls for Leo!


Well here we are!  Time for the top 5!  We are going in reverse order.  Starting at 5!

5. George Clooney



With the exception of DiCaprio, is anyone as cool as Clooney?  The movies he has made are all good (with the exception of Men Who Stare At Goats).  Seems like a cool dude.  And out of my friends, I can only name one person who genuinely hates him.  Also his Batman wasn't that bad, the bat nipples were.



4. Jennifer Lawrence



Surprisingly more girls than guys chose her.  Super cool girl, all of her movies are awesome.  Hopefully it's not some Hollywood act that she seems nice.  Fingers crossed.

3. Aziz Ansari



The only surprise to make the top 5 list.  But a great one!  Aziz is super awesome.  We have been watching him for years, starting with the underrated Human Giant, then moving on to Parks and Rec.  Also Master of None is great, go watch it.



2. Chris Pratt



Keep it in your pants ladies.  Where were you when he was fat and not even the sixth lead on Parks and Rec?  He is hilarious, easily our biggest movie star and he seems like a legit nice guy.  He's the male version of Jennifer Lawrence.  Now for the .gif that everyone uses for Chris Pratt.



1. Bill Murray

Bill Murray is the freaking man!  He was easily the top choice.  He would probably be the best guy to drink a beer with and shoot the shit.  Also he was in Stripes!



He was a Ghostbuster, hated Groundhog's Day AND the dude loves the Cubs.



Coolest dude ever.  Your champion ladies and gentleman, Bill Murray!



There you have it, the Table for 6!

Perhaps next time will be top 5 hall passes?  Looking at you AT&T girl!



PS: I did make this list twice, since I was in two movies (direct to video of course!)  I will put up a picture of who I tied with, he is very upset he didn't make the list!

Great Faces, Great Places

South Dakota!  My home state.  There is a lot to write about this lovely state, so much in fact, I've seen people who have written blogs, or posts on what's so great about it.  The sad thing though, the majority of those posts suck.  That's where I come in.

In front of Mount Rushmore, someday, I want my face up there.

I want to write a blog that's about South Dakota, but have it be different from the rest.  I personally love South Dakota, and I'm proud to be from there.  In fact, I like South Dakota so much, my wife and I are moving back there in 3 short months. To my hometown of Vermillion, SD.  And I couldn't be more excited.  So let's get started, time to cover this lovely state, warts and all.



This is Deadwood.  Deadwood is my favorite place on earth.  Think of Vegas, but smaller. Occasionally colder.  You can gamble and drink til your hearts content.  If you get bored gambling, you can go hiking or check out the Black Hills.  The Badlands, Crazy Horse Memorial and the big dog, Mt. Rushmore.

My wife and I at Mt. Rushmore

And it's cheap.  South Dakotas is SUPER CHEAP to visit and live in.  Don't even get me started on state income tax, or how expensive it is to license your car here in Nebraska.

There's also a lot to do outside, if that's your thing.  Hunting and fishing is quite popular.  If you like doing things inside, that's cool too.  Tons of concerts and things to see, especially if you're close to one of the "Big 2" in Sioux Falls or Rapid City.  I read a blog that said you have to drive 5 hours for a concert, that's not true.

Hell Sioux Falls just got Paul McCartney, the guy who is in the biggest band of all time...Wings.

And Limp Bizkit was there last year, so they even get NOT the biggest bands of all time.



There is also a decent music scene.  Every time I go on a trip, and throw out my knowledge of music, hip hop in particular, I always get the weird eyes when I say I used to DJ, and that I'm from South Dakota.  Country music, while good, isn't my thing, so yes, rap and rock are listened to AND played in little ol' South Dakota.  I went to college with this guy, goes by the name of Myke Bogan, he's awesome.  Give it a listen.

There are some places in South Dakota that I think suck, but I can see the appeal of why you would want to visit.

There's the Corn Palace.  Sorry people of Mitchell, some like it, but it's just not that impressive to me. I will include a picture though so you can see it.  It's a palace...made of corn.  So there's that.



Also the NBA's Mike Miller played there, so there's also that.



There's also Wall Drug.  If you've seen a random billboard of it, and trust me, you have...this is Wall Drug.



It's essentially a town that is nothing but one big drug store.  I'm going to say something scandalous right now, but Al's Oasis is 10x better.



Same thing, but much smaller, and less self congratulatory billboards alerting you of its existence.  And the best buffalo burgers ever!

Speaking of alerting you of its existence.  The following is 100% true, if you are from South Dakota, and hear the name of the state on TV or in any form of media, you get STOKED.  I'll admit it, I do. Hell I watched all of Fargo Season 2 simply because some of it takes place in South Dakota.



Something else that is always brought up with people not from the South Dakota region.  Food.  Yeah there's cheese balls (balls of cheese) and chislic (look it up), there are also a lot more local favorites, as there are in any area.  I just went to Baltimore and EVERYTHING has crab on or in it.  Jamaica has everything with "jerk" at the beginning.  And Texas has waffles shaped like its damn state.

Seriously!

South Dakota has everything from sushi to Mexican food.  You're covered.  My favorite topic about food in South Dakota was brought up on my trip to Baltimore, where they were CONFUSED by a place we know and love that is based in the mid-west...the Pizza Ranch.



Would you look at that!?   A ranch FULL of pizza!  But the confusing part for the east coast company I shared, is that you go to the Pizza Ranch for the chicken.  Ahhhh, so confusing!  But such is life, right!?

The Falls in Sioux Falls, SD

Moving in another direction, you see that up there?  That's the Falls, in Sioux Falls, SD.  Well worth checking out if you get to the area, also, that's what the winter looks like.  It gets cold.  That's what the state is mostly known for I suppose, besides being where January Jones is from.



I've met her, she's a nice lady.  But the winter does get a bit...nippy (get it!?).  But the spring, fall and, in particular, the summers in South Dakota are amazing.



Daaaaaaamn.  Looks good right?  It's a beautiful place to go explore, throughout the state, trust me on that.

So before I end this blog about my home state of South Dakota, let's do a quick run through anything I may have missed, whether it be information on South Dakota itself or a random observation.  1, 2, 3, GO!!!

1. Tom Brokaw is from here.  He's the best.  And if you find him, you let me know!  #findbrokaw



2. There is a rivalry between South and North Dakota.  Why?  Each states residents think one is better than the other.  Is either side right?  Yes, that would be South Dakota.  Not to be a jerk, but other than oil, Grand Forks (cool town!) and NDSU football, um, there's nothing else to really see up there.

3. Speaking of rivalries, there are 2 more within the state itself.  One being USD vs SDSU.  Both commonly confused with San Diego colleges.



Both good colleges, I went to USD, I did not go to SDSU.  But I despise SDSU.  Sorry Jacks fans, it's just a rivalry, calm down.

4. The other (why so many rivalries!?) rivalry is the East vs West river one.  It's pretty dumb, short explanation.  South Dakota is split in two, see!



The west side is the outdoorsy, cool tourist attraction places.  The east side has the bigger towns/cities and the two colleges listed above.  That's really all there is to it.

5. Enough about rivalries.  Let's talk quickly about the people.  The people are legit super nice. People in the mid-west are aweome because they only talk about you behind your back.  That's the best!  When I visited both coasts in the last year, people were rude to my face, I have feelings people! Midwest people are the perfect kind of rude.  Make fun of me behind my back, like a decent person.



6. The speed limit on the interstate is 80!  80!!!!  You go to Iowa, those jerks only let you go 70.  Come on people!  That is great!

7. My state can out-drink almost any state.  That is both good AND bad.  Good if you're safe about it and 24 and under.  Bad if you're NOT safe about it and past that age.

8. There is a truth to the fact that people have no clue where South Dakota is on the map.  I experienced that first hand.  People are stupid now, I blame the internet, and the Kardashian's.



Yuck.  Talking with people on my vacations and trips, most had no clue there was a non-white population.  Some didn't know the difference between South and North Dakota (all conveniently found in this blog!), and many people in bigger states have no clue we exist.  Because some people in other states are douches.  Moral of the story?



9. Pierre is our capital, but it is not pronounced Pierre (Pee-Air), it is pronounced Pierre (peer).  I don't understand it either.

10. Until I moved, I did not know I had an accent.  Not everyone talks like they do in the movie or TV show Fargo.  People, at least ones I know, do not say aboot, or eh, like we are from Canada.  What I do, and never realized, are my vowels sound MESSED UP.  I say bag (beg) when I need a grocery bag (beg).  I take an exit (egg-zit).  I admit it, but at least you can understand me when I speak, I'm looking in your direction Louisiana!



That should do it for me.  If I missed anything about South Dakota, anything at all, feel free to comment, email, hell, even text (if you have my number)!  I'll be more than happy to add whatever I may have forgotten in this blog.

Thanks for reading!

Jeff Kleeman

PS Adding this after the fact, my good friend Dr. Kauer wants to know the state bird and beverage. Sadly Icehouse is not the right answer.