Turn Up...the Radio!

I may as well admit it today, I have an addiction.  There is nothing else like it.  I am addicted to winning radio contests.  Whew.  That felt good to admit.  

Oddly not when ECW closed

Thanks Paul Heyman, for the support (I am a Heyman guy).  Since I have moved to Lincoln, Nebraska, I have won 21 radio contests, and quite a few before that.  So I feel a review is in order of my greatest radio accomplishments.  The wins, the painful losses.  All right here.  For your reading pleasure.  So sit back, relax, and crank the following song.  Enjoy.

I would like to share my biggest accomplishment first.  Let me take you back to the year 2013.  It was such an innocent time.  Trump was just a reality star then.  Becky with the nice hair was Aunt Beccy from Full House.

Look at that hair!

Lady Gaga was on tour at the time, so I call the radio station, speaking to my favorite DJ Chi, thinking I have won tickets to see the Gags...but it was not meant to be.  It was better, because ladies and gentleman, I met a meet and greet with the one, the only, Tech N9ne!!!!

So gangster.

So a meet and greet with this great man, then a free concert.  We discussed football, selfies, but sadly, my biggest regret actually, was I was proposing to my girlfriend the next day.  My plan was to have him give a celebratory message, because why wouldn't you!?  But in my excitement I forgot, luckily she still said yes.  Oh well, maybe next time he can announce the birth of my wife and I's child some day.  A man can dream!

One of the most interesting/regretful radio contests I have won, and I'm sorry if I offend anybody, was Bacon Fest.  First off, and judge all you want, I'm a sausage guy for breakfast.  But I am a man of adventure, and trying everything (almost everything) once.  So off to Bacon Fest we went!  And for the first twenty minutes, it was glorious.  Bacon ice cream!  Bacon donuts with cheese in it!  Bacon jam!  I ate so much bacon, I no longer feel comfortable watching Charlotte's Web or Babe.

I am so sorry!

End result, especially when you're past the age of metabolism and feeling good about an event such as this (25 years old?) was what you'd expect.  Being uncomfortable as possible.  This was literally last week, and I still am in pain from it.  I would highly suggest trying it once, you will ultimately hate yourself an hour later.

One of the most enjoyable concert wins I have had, was when I won a concert to see the person whose CD was the first I ever bought.  That's right ladies and gentleman.  Coolio.

Yup, still his hair

I was given the Gangsta's Paradise album in 1996, yes, a little late to get your first CD, don't judge.
This was Coolio's heyday.  Gangsta's Paradise.  1,2,3,4, go get that woman on the floor Coolio!  I was beyond elated.  Elated until we got to the concert.  He was over an  hour late.  His cousin was his DJ, who used an iPod with pre-programmed songs.  He also did only two verses of his biggest songs, and no Hit 'Em High from the Space Jam Soundtrack.  It was...kind of a bummer.

It wasn't all bad of course.  His cousin brought out a saxophone at one point to jam out.  He did the Keenan and Kel theme song.  He looked in my wife's eyes and rapped dirty lyrics to her (score!).
And I got to shake his hand.  So not a complete loss.

Speaking of rappers I have gotten the pleasure to meet, Scarface!

This dude is the truth

One of my most memorable nights as at the time I was sicker than a dog.  But I had to go, plus my buddy Ben is the biggest fan of Scarface ever, so I couldn't ditch out.  Scarface was great, he did some Geto Boy's stuff, he rapped Smile, which was his song with 2Pac AND he even did an acoustic set, playing Hotel California AND Stairway to Heaven.  Probably the most underrated concert I've ever been to.

Music clearly is the main reason to try to win these contests, but not the ONLY reason.  I've won some interesting things throughout the years.

I've pretended to be the husband of my coworker, so her daughter could go see Lindsey Stirling.  I've won Girls Roller Derby tickets, twice and gave them away.  Free gas cards (which definitely were not used for gas, because this was broke and after college so...beer), we've seen Cirque du Soleil's Michael Jackson tribute and of course...PRO WRESTLING!

You smell what we're cooking?  

I have won wrestling tickets on six different occasions.  I've won house shows and two Smackdown tapings, so yes, life is good.  The only thing I have left is a live Raw (look for me on TV May 9th, thanks Adam!).

My favorite radio contest story involves pro wrestling.  As I had called a station, thinking I had won pro wrestling tickets, but instead, I won tickets to the band Hinder.  Now all you Hinder fans out there, don't get on my case, but I am not a fan.  The song "Get Stoned" is okay, but I still have nightmares of hearing "Lips of an Angel".  Upon hearing the news that I had won Hinder tickets, I will go ahead and write the dialogue of what actually happened on air.

RADIO DJ: You won tickets to go see Hinder!!!!
JEFF: Oh...crap.
RADIO DJ: Oh....do you not like Hinder?
JEFF: "Sigh"
RADIO DJ: So you excited to see Hinder!?
JEFF: I guess
RADIO DJ: Well congrats Jeff and thank you for listening!

Fun fact, Hinder came up with some excuse the next night to not play, after I gave my ticket away for free to an actual fan.  Screw you Hinder, go be better people and make better music!

Also moral of the story, always listen to what you're trying to win, as I've now accidentally won twice. Speaking of listening...

I also was caller 101 and 105 of...106 for Lil Wayne tickets.  And the DJ had led me to believe I had won, when I didn't, I have called the DJ a B.  NBD.



In college, my buddies and I would have something called "The Feast" once a year.  One, or two, or three, sometimes four of us, would get holiday hams from our jobs during the holidays.  Well this was one of those days.  So we went to get some sides, and we hear a radio contest, tickets to see Staind.  I like Staind.  So I call, keep in mind, at this exact time, I really had to poop.  I'll admit it.

Being a pro, I went and did my business, and kept on calling, and then it happened.  They answered.

RADIO DJ: Thanks for calling can you name "THING JEFF FORGOT BECAUSE IT'S BEEN 10 YEARS"?
JEFF: Um, what?
RADIO DJ: Thanks for calling!  "click"

And just like that, dreams of seeing Staind for free fell down the crapper...literally.

Well there were a few of my radio contests, I didn't list them all, not many care I won a free breakfast combo at Taco John's 3 or 4 times (my favorite food are breakfast burritos FYI).  As of today, I'm getting ready to use my 21st, and final contest winnings here in Lincoln, to go see the movie Keanu.  I hope you all have a great weekend, and thanks for reading!

Til next time,

Jeff Kleeman

99 Problems and Construction is 1

You see this picture?  This is lovely I-29, outside of Sioux City.  Home of the never ending construction.  The picture above has been the scene in Sioux City for as long as I can remember. 

Now while I do not mind the city itself (minus the smell from a pork plant that is no longer there), a number of amazing restaurants (La Juanita's, you are the bomb), and a delicious Sioux City Sasparilla every summer, the construction is just unbearable! 



So what I have decided to do, is make a list (Google hates these, and won't pay me if I do lists, but since I'm a horrible businessman, here you go!).  I'm going to list 41 (99 is A LOT of things to list) things that will happen before constuction is completely finished on I-29 in Sioux City.  And since hating on construction is universal, if you're reading this and not in the Sioux City area, feel free to add your own personal constuction demons in your neck of the woods.  Enjoy!

1. Flying cars
2. O.J. Simpson will admit that he is guilty.

3. Soccer will finally get popular in non-World Cup years.
4. There will be two candidates running for president that both Democrats and Republicans will agree "aren't that bad". 
5. The Vikings will win the Super Bowl

6. Pete Rose will make the Hall of Fame
7. World War III.
8. Pauly Shore will win an Oscar for playing an actual weasel. 

9. There will be one year without a comic book movie.
10. I'll pay off my student loans.
11. Dr. Dre will release "Detox".

12. Mary Matherly will age (you still look young as hell and I promised you I'd give you a shoutout!)
13. The Simpson's will air it's last episode. 

14. People will no longer say "That's what she said". 

15. Buzzfeed will run out of quizzes.
16. Snoop Dogg gives up weed...again.
17. I will, one day, win my fantasy football league again. 
18. People will stop making an issue of gay marriage. 
19. Your future president, Adam from Workaholics.

20. We find out who killed JFK.
21. Sammy Sosa will be black again!

22. The NFL will change to flag football due to concussion research (fantasy football still goes on).
23. Bigfoot will be captured!
24. Verizon will come up with an affordable cell phone plan (hahahaha I'm kidding, that'll never happen).
25. Kim Kardashian's selfie will be on the $50 bill.  Sorry Ulysses, should've stepped up your selfie game homey!

26. People will admit global warming is a thing.
27. The NCAA will agree to pay athletes in some way that makes sense for both parties (bring back NCAA Football for videogames!  EA make this happen!)

28. People will finally admit Home Improvement wasn't as good as we all remember.  Sorry Wilson.

29. The creators of Lost will finally admit they had no idea what was happening the entire time.
30. Amelia Earhart will be found!  Alive, froze, just like Captain America.

31. Civil War 2 will erupt, due to warring factions arguing about who is better, Kylie vs Kendall Jenner!?  Which side will you take!?  We all know where my allegiances lie!

32. They will finally admit, Trix isn't just for kids.  #trixlivesmatter
33. North Dakota will change it's name, to Dakota, which will have the same effect on people as James Franco stating his sexuality...zero.
34. Mumps and measles will make a comeback and anti-vaxxers will still be stupid about it.
35. Julia Louis-Dreyfus will admit she is a robot who doesn't age. Seriously, how in the hell!?  She is 55 years old!

36. Due to cloning, Jurassic Park becomes a reality, and due to history repeating itself again, they hire this guy:

37. MTV will play music vidoes again.
38. ESPN will release a statement, saying they aren't sure why they pay Matthew Berry or Mel Kiper, Jr. to be "experts" on things they are constantly wrong about.  Idiots.
39. The Kleeman Report will be a major website, with the result being my future son or daughter will have his/her own blog about how terrible it is.
40. We'll find out what happened to Jon Snow.  RIGHT!?

41. You will have completed reading this blog...maybe.

That's it for today, thanks for reading!  I feel I'll eventually get around to the Nintendo Challenge, perhaps starting on it tonight.  Until next time...

Jeff Kleeman

Random Things I Like

This is me, Jeff Kleeman.  So if you've been reading this blog for a while, either here or at the old site, you know that I like some "interesting" things.  If you don't know, well you are about to get quite the education on all things me.

Last night, I was involved in a group text, and the topic arose of random things I like, so it was decided I compile a list of 33 of my favorite things (since I'm 33 it makes sense). 

We'll keep it strictly related to random things, no actual people I know, if that's included, then the list gets tricky.  So let's get this party started!

1. Lists

2. "Sugar" by Trick Daddy (just a great song!)

3. Oreos (only dipped in milk, not the same without it)

4. Jim Harbaugh (best coach ever)



5. My lucha mask (if you haven't, do yourself a favor and watch Lucha Underground, thank me later!)


Come at me!

6. Dr. Pepper



7. The San Francisco 49'ers (god why do I like them!?)



8. Baseball transactions

9. My "Macho Man" Randy Savage figure

Oh yeah!

10. The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man


My wedding party

11. Mix CD's



12. My collection of NES/SNES games



13. Spider-Man

14. Socks


My actual wedding



Scottie Pippen socks?  Duh.







I have a serious problem

15. Elephants



16. 1990's NBA basketball players



17. Super Mario Bros.



18. The Rat Pack


The old Rat Pack

The new Rat Pack

19.  Drinking challenges where you win a prize



20. Whiskey

Mmmm Whiskey

21. Deadwood, South Dakota



22. Halloween

Half Iron Man/half Black Widow?

23. D-Days (my alma mater, the University of South Dakota's Homecoming celebration)





24. Buffets

25. University of Michigan college sports

I HATE Ohio St.

26. Netflix binges

27. Dance-offs



28.  Breakfast burritos

29.  The Bob Ross channel on Twitch



30.  Actual books (none of that Kindle crap!)

31.  Quoting things



32.  Watching infomercials (they are just so oddly addicting for me)

33.  Finishing blogs (it's such a relief when it's done!)

Thanks for reading everyone!  Next week will have Part 2 of movies that should be remade and back to the Nintendo Challenge (for those new to this site, I play old Nintendo games...horribly, then review them). 

Til next time...

Jeff Kleeman

Me and the lady

PS If you know me and think I forgot something, well go crazy, but keep it PG.  Clearly there are some things I didn't put on here, more so opposite sex related.  But, if it was me 20 years ago, the entire list would've only been pictures of Kathy Ireland, clearly.

Yowza!