People get mad or offended now about the smallest things. Yesterday I received a text from my friend Travis.
"True or false, chislic is completely overrated?"
Simple enough question, the answer, my opinion, is yes. It's always overpriced. It's not something that I would order, but if someone were to offer me a bite, yeah...sure. But I'd do the same with toast, and toast is just...toast.
That doesn't mean it's bad. That doesn't mean I dislike it. It just means I don't enjoy it as much as most, and view it as a food that gets unneeded acclaim for being cut up steak (or lamb) with seasoning...
So of course I told Travis that I would make it my Facebook status...let's see what happens? What happened? I forgot we live in 2018, the era of everybody is offended by everything! Yeah! Great! What started with a few funny memes, gifs, comments, etc, ultimately turned in to more. I got texts! Personal messages! It was even turned political in one response (I shared an article about how South Dakota is making chislic the state snack, or "nosh" if you will... that's my state, always the important issues. Not increasing teacher pay or anything else important. Definitely nosh, that's what's important. Anyway a guy who is awful pushed to pass this bill...and it’s my fault for sharing that stupid article). Hell, even one of my best friends (hi KAAAAAH) made a status that I, Jeff Kleeman, was overrated (which is actually really funny).
So of course I’m a glutton for punishment and I have decided to do a blog about the most overrated foods! But I'm not going to make the choices, I'm just going to review them. I’ve enlisted two people who love food as much as I do (no, not Ben Gutnik...next time Ben!). The previously mentioned Travis and our buddy Alan.
Meow, right ladies?
This blog will be much like my status. Super easy, not time consuming and sure to piss people off for no reason.
Here is the list from Travis and Alan. If you can correctly identify who picked what (there is one that was chosen by both) you will win the only Kleeman Report shirt in existence. Still up for grabs, years later.
Casey’s Pizza
A Midwest favorite. I personally love Casey’s pizza. This person does not (its Alan, one freebie). Greasy gas station pizza. I believe he thinks it’s rubbery. And did I mention it’s from a gas station?
On a personal note, living in Sourh Dakota, it’s fun describing to people out of state that the most popular pizza is from a gas station, the most popular chicken is from Pizza Ranch...and you can only guess where the most popular hamburgers are...right? Trick question, I have no clue. Personally around here? Five Guys?
Ice Cream
The person who chose this is crazy but may have a point. I never go out of my way for ice cream. Every movie when a girl is dumped, straight to the ice cream, which is a lie in real life. And in the winter, the need for this is extinct. I get it.
Funnel Cake
John would be pissed if he actually read these blogs (just kidding, hi John!). I do see why this was chosen. It’s not my thing. It’s just sugar on fried dough. If I’m at an amusement park the two things I’m getting...wow guys...seriously!? The next two oddly.
Soft Pretzels
I love soft pretzels. I love cheese. I love salt. I oddly would’ve agreed with hard pretzels though. I'm not a big fan, they just aren't my thing. The only good thing hard pretzels are for is this...
Corn Dogs
Dammit. I love corn dogs. I’m just gonna move along, but I’m not "chislic offended"...hey a new term!
Coffee
I used to be on this train. Coffee sucked...until it didn’t. It took me forever to like coffee, but now I like it. I’m not one those crazy coffee people, but it’s alright in my book. Next! Oh crap...
Bacon
Everyone loves bacon. Everyone goes crazy over bacon. The argument that both Alan and Travis had, is that every single person who likes bacon, they get a little too crazy about it.
Do you think that's what she's actually saying in that gif? Maybe she loves Macon, GA?
Well anyway, bacon...overrated? I can see it, but I'm currently eating bacon so.....
Boneless Chicken Wings
Are they wings or are they glorified chicken nuggets that you pay double for to not have the hassle of getting your fingers dirty and making the joke, "I ate the bone!"?
I actually agree with this selection. I prefer normal wings anyway. Bone and all.
Bloody Mary’s
I agree 100% with this selection, but I hate tomato juice. Also places in bulk are dong "fun" things with Bloody Mary's. You want a Bloody Mary with a hamburger? Sure! Bacon? Yeah! Hot dog and fries!? Okay!
Just order a meal and get over your hangover like a normal person. Also that photo is why the world hates the United States.
Disclaimer: The person who chose this also likes Bloody Mary's, but doesn't like all the crap in it, I just felt the need to add that piece of information, I'm not sure why?
Oreo’s
This was Travis. Screw you Travis, you're wrong! That's two hints! Chislic offended.
This is Travis and I in better times...pre-Oreo diss.
Just to prove you can make anything political, Travis hates Oreos because he prefers Hydrox!!! Just kidding, he prefers his in a Dairy Queen Blizzard, and a Blizzard only!!!
Krispy Kreme
The argument here is that mom and pop stores have better donuts, that is correct. This goes with the chislic, in my opinion, because I like Krispy Kreme, but I'd much rather have a different brand. Maybe one of those family run ones...or, oh I don't know...a Casey's donut!!!
Also I'm more upset at Krispy Kreme because they made the rapper change his name, not cool guys.
Red Velvet
It's just chocolate cake with red food coloring people! Wake up!
Macaroni and Cheese
And the mot scandalous for last. This was chosen because as soon as you're done with that first bite or two, is it still amazing? After that, it's just cheese on noodle from this persons point of view.
The entire sentence above, I disagree with because I love mac and cheese, but I see the argument. Maybe people should try to be more like that, amiright? Instead of attacking someone because they say mac and cheese is overrated...or CHISLIC, maybe just look at their point of view, swallow your pride, and agree to disagree?
This person said that about Mac and Cheese, but some people may think that about Spaghetti. I personally don't like bananas. I know someone who doesn't like cheese on their burger...that's their decision.
The most attention a post has received on my Facebook wall in quite sometime, was an apparent attack on chislic (again, I said overrated, it's still decent), maybe the next blog will be about how most comment or react to a post about that, but don't comment or react to important topics like what's happening in the world right now, or fundraisers and donations for people who have something going on who need help? It's an interesting topic, but no way in hell I'm touching that.
The next blog will be on my top 10 favorite Nintendo Entertainment System games...and Super Mario Bros. does not make the list. Spoiler alert!
If you have any foods to share that you think are overrated, please do. I want to know what people REALLY think about Party Pizza? Hint? I love it.
Til next time...
Jeff Kleeman
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