23 Games

It's a Friday, my kid is taking a nap, I want to write a blog about my favorite games, and I couldn't come up with a better title than 23 Games...I mean, yeah.

I could have went with a Michael Jordan theme?



But he was never in any game growing up besides the really crappy Super Nintendo game my mom got me for Christmas...sorry mom!



You didn't know!  Also this was the first game to make me motion sick, go figure (I get motion sick for first person shooters and oddly this game, I'm not sure why?).

So I'm not going in any particular order on the games.  My favorite game of all time is Super Mario RPG...after that it's a bit fuzzy because of so many classics.

I'm gonna get weird with the first one:

Gitaroo Man



I had a roommate (hey Dallas!) in college who was the video game KING.  And would find out about insane games and get them.  This one seems really stupid in theory...it's not.  It's incredible.

You basically save the world with your guitar and rhythm skills, the only two things anyone needs really.  That's why Eric Rasmussen will save the world.

This game is one of many awesome music games (sorry you didn't make the list PaRappa the Rapper (watch them fries!) to make the list.  Also if anybody can find this game for me, that'd be great.

Next, less weird!

Mario Kart: Double Dash



Nobody better be taking Baby Mario...not NOBODY.  I love this game, it's my favorite out of all the Mario Kart's...sorry Wii and N64 version!

I could literally play this all day, and do you know why?  Because I have.  The Wii version went a solid 24 hours straight in our house, and I don't regret a single minute of it, except for those jerks online who would work in tandem to beat us.  Go straight to hell!  Or rot in hell! - Dino

Final Fantasy VII



I beat this entire game.  And when I say entire, I didn't just go through and beat it as fast as possible (high school joke is hidden in that last sentence somewhere...).  No I defeated every single thing in the game, then played Final Fantasy VIII and did the same.

Did I party in high school?  Yeah, with Final Fantasy apparently.

Triple Play 98



Brian Jordan references!  I got my PlayStation in 1997, and it was amazing.  I got this and another game that'll appear later on in this list.  And just like Brian Jordan...it was a home run!

I took the Cubs (I even liked them then thank you very much!) to an unprecedented 162-0, with World Series victory that summer.

Also there is a cheat code to hit a home run at every at bat...I might have used it a time or two in Home Run Derby's, sorry Brad.

(A close second on best baseball game is Tecmo Super Baseball on the SNES, it's how I've memorized every order from 1994 MLB and close behind is MVP Baseball 2005, because I love Rob Huckins).

Tetris



Tetris in any form is amazing.  From the NES, to the crappy computer version you see here, to the sort of fun later versions where they went too weird with it.

We can thank Russia for two things, Tetris and Vodka, and be angry with them for one...Trump's presidency.  Moving along.

WWF Royal Rumble



This is the most fun wrestling game in my opinion, just based on the hours I've played it.  IT was also my first Super Nintendo game, so it has a special place in my heart.  The line up is stacked, and it only has a few wrestlers who have died, so nothing too morbid (RIP Yokozuna).

I was always Randy Savage or Bret Hart (my all time #1 and #3)...but you can play as Razor Ramon, HBK or Flair.  Even frickin Tatanka is on it...and the best is they play their entrance music as well.

I remember Tag Team tournaments with my buddy Brady.  Royal Rumbles with my cousin Brad, where we'd eliminate everyone as soon as they got in.  I might play this tonight, I'm a wild card.

Close behind are WWF Attitude (underrated) and of course Smackdown versus Danny Gilbertson (BATISTA!!!).

If you have an SNES, and 5 bucks...buy this.  Or don't, what do I care?

Amplitude



The only game I know for a fact nobody can beat me in.  If there were tournaments, I would enter.

This is the precursor to Rock Band/ Guitar Hero.  You would use your controller to match the beat.

I'll add in the following game as well to explain more:

Frequency



So you can play versus a friend or do career mode.  It gets harder as you goes (there's a college joke in there somewhere).

The game also introduced me to a ton of great DJ's and musicians.  I'm gonna listen to Freezepop, while I play Royal Rumble tonight!  I'm 36!!!

Aladdin



This game is just some good old fashioned fun.  A great side scroller based on my favorite Disney movie.  I actually defeated this game as well as a child, I tried it as an adult..no clue how I defeated it.  Disney has a lot of great games...such as!

Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers



I'm a Chip on the outside, a Dale on the inside.  Dress nice, but boy do I like to party!

Anyway, so this is one of the best games ever.  It's really fun, I have also defeated it, so I can put that on my resume.

There is a part 2 to this game, and I collect NES games...I actually only have 13 left to go for what I want, the problem is, the sequel to this game is $250...so that's a hard no from my wife.  As an aside, for Christmas I really want Chip and Dale 2.  Thanks!

Super Mario Bros 3



This was the first game I had ever heard of a strategy guide for.  I legit sat down and read that mofo front to back.  It was so interesting to me that there could be hidden parts of a level (thanks Uncle Kal for letting me borrow it!).

It's the greatest NES game of all time (sorry Yo! Noid) and quite possibly the best of all time, Mario is the king, might as well get rid of the next two.

Super Mario World



Ahhhh, the game where it's perfectly normal to repeatedly kill your newfound reptile friend.  The Mario series is so damn good (except those Luigi solo projects, it's like Ringo when he left the Beatles).

Arguably the greatest game ever made.

Super Mario RPG



It's Super Mario.  And an RPG (Role Playing Game) all in one.  It's my favorite game ever.  I've explained it in my blog maybe 12,000 times.

Oh and my wife is the best and got this for me for Valentine's Day a few years ago.  I took work off one day to defeat it.  You can tell my work, I don't even think it exists anymore.

NBA Live '96



I love this game so much.  Also one of the few games I know I can beat anyone in at almost anytime.  NBA Jam...not so much.

The thing that made this so awesome back then, it has unlockable characters if you type in their name correctly in the create a player mode.  So yes, you can have Michael Jordan.  I also updated all the rosters with trades, I was that anal of a 13 year old kid.  But 90's NBA is my Nirvana.  Literally.

NBA Live '95 almost won for sentimental reasons.

Zanac



In high school I got my first job at a senior citizen's center.  And I saved, and I saved, and then I quit my first of many jobs.  What did I get with that money?  A Nintendo on eBay with 35 games for 40 bucks.  No way I find that deal again.  Ever.

It had a lot of good games for starting a collection, and some real clunkers, and one of those I put in to see if it was fun was this game, Zanac.  Almost beat this...once, never close ever again.  The better you do, the harder it gets, but I'm super anal and want to completely destroy everything so I die pretty quickly in this game.

It's one of my favorite games ever, it reminded me a lot of the following game...

Strike Gunner STG



So growing up, I borrowed a game from my friend Brady as much as I rented the movie Ladybugs from our rental store...A LOT.

Same as Zanac, just a different system.  Outer space pilot shooting interestingly timed enemies until you come up to a boss.  I have defeated this, once.  It was magical.  After I won, I'm sure I opened up a delicious Crystal Clear Pepsi and ate Gushers like a madman. 

Little Nemo: Dream Master



One of the most underrated games of all time.  I'll remember how we defeated this forever.  College, 2 AM, me, Schempp, Ras.  Drinking Icehouse, playing Little Nemo.

We did make the mistake of watching the movie shortly after this, there was still Icehouse around, luckily...because it was so horrible. 

Anticipation



Speaking of Schempp...there is nobody better at me than Anticipation...except for him.

You would have two teams, and it's like Pictionary, where it draws (poorly) whatever it is you have to guess. Then Beach would get mad and say we were cheating and then we'd drink Icehouse and do awesome things.

A really good party game.  Not even kidding.  Maybe when we update TASKS, we'll include this in it. 

Super Monkey Ball



Speaking of party games.  Look no further than Super Monkey Ball.  Monkey Bowling is a great drinking game.  Same with Monkey Target.

I actually received the PS2 version of this as a birthday gift (thanks Steff!  I still have it).  Every now and then I'll try to get a perfect game in bowling, and fail...damn you Pew.

Animal Crossing


This was one of the first "real time" games I ever remember playing.  It was really convenient because our entire household was addicted to this game.  So we would play at different times throughout the day.

Hidden in the game are a bunch of fun things, NES games being one of them.  One of my fondest memories was waking up at 6 am on a Saturday morning to chop down every single tree in my roommates town because he pissed me off the night before.  Then when he logged in, we told him his town got destroyed and we weren't sure why.  Not even sorry JW.

This game also reminds me that we had to stop playing on Saturday nights at 8 PM because Trading Spaces was on.  Thanks Jina for letting me know who Genevieve was during her prime.  YOWZA!

Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit



Earlier I said my first two games I bought on the PS1 made the list, but I made a last second change while (whilst) riding this.  Need for Speed 2 is great, and I played it for literally days....but....Hot Pursuit has a great soundtrack.  Better graphics and courses.  And Bush is on it.  Not the president, but the amazing band.

Other racing games that just missed out...Burnout...Gran Turismo...

The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past



You can literally get lost in this game if you let it happen to you.  My wife got this for my for Christmas a few years ago (pre-baby) and I started with the intentions of beating it.  I got the furthest I've ever gotten, and haven't played since my daughter was born.

This is arguably the best in the Zelda series, or any series for that matter.  Great game.

Madden 2004



Why this Madden over any of the other ones?  Vick.  The soundtrack.  The gameplay.  The fact that you can return punts and kickoffs for touchdowns and it wasn't insanely difficult to do it.  The 49'ers sucked so I didn't have to pick them every time because Tim Rattay was hot garbage.  The dynasty mode with Pew, Rob and Dino.  The tournament with Ras and Karl.  Playing this while hearing Karl walk in on something he shouldn't have.

Close Madden's were 92, 96, 05, 16 for me.  Tecmo Super Bowl and Tecmo Super Bowl III.  NFL Blitz...all close.

And that does it!  My favorite games ever.

"But Cowriter!" says Danny, "Where is Battletoads!?"

Battletoads is fun, but you basically play two levels, then die every time.  But I will leave you with this...Battletoads has the BEST video game song ever made.

The game should be updated and remade.  The song should be as well.  And if you pause the game, it also has the best pause music ever.

Enjoy 10 hours of it.  I will.  While playing Royal Rumble.  And listening to Freezepop.  Oh nostalgia!

Jeff

PS  Any suggestions for next blog are fine.  I'm most likely going in a direction of top 3 of a specific artist, going with Outkast next.  Unless I don't.

Trophy

This will be my first in a LONG LINE of Compact Disc reviews....a CD if you will.  Back in college, the year 2005 to be precise, my buddies and I would throw little get together's...every night of the week.

When you throw "get together's", you need to have some really good tunes...music...songs, whatever people call it these days.  A lot of the copies are gone, but since I'm super anal, and a pack rat, I'm only missing two of the entire collection (whoever has Mallet, and the second CD, you are super lucky!)  So I decided for fun, I am going to review these mix CD's, to not only see how well the songs have aged, but to also include stories behind them...cleaned up versions of the stories I should say.

Now we gave an interesting name to each album, as you saw above, Mallet was one (came from nut ball, better left unsaid how that went), Subbitin', 3 Amigos, Sock Pain and this CD, Trophy.  Trophy, if I recall, was named as such because we thought we were at the top of our game musically.  About 98% of the songs were hip hop/rap, we really love/d rock music as well, just during this time we were more in to having a party and playing hip hop music  Hip hop in the mid-2000's was reaching it's peak commercially, so we had A LOT of songs to choose from.  A LOT.

So the following is a list from the album "Trophy" and like I said...if anyone has the second album or Mallet, I will legit pay $25 for it.  (Also for those of you who do not like JUST hip hop/rap, I will be reviewing one of my personal mixes from 2010 titled "Sarah Michelle Gellar", I love all music, so that one is more my all around taste in music, so that's next time).

Also there are a lot of swear words on this.  A LOT.  So listen to it with headphones, or quietly, or just maybe later?  The majority of us have kids now, but this is probably why I have an issue with cussing.

Let's begin!

Let's start with 50 Cent - Disco Inferno!  This came off his album "The Massacre", which I think is far superior to his first major album "Get Rich or Die Tryin"...and that album was amazing!

50 Cent was pretty much done after this album, having maybe 4-5 more hits after.  You can now find him ringside at UFC fights or in really bad Stallone movies.

Joe Budden ft Busta Rhymes - Fire.  Songs great.  Still holds up!  His career didn't.  This could come out today and be as big of a hit...maybe.

Fam-Lay (get it!?) - Git Busy.  We thought this guy was going to be huge.  He has two legit songs, and the rest?  I literally have no idea.  But this song is still really good.

Dr. Dre - Mr. Ski & Me.  So this was when we were waiting...and waiting...and waiting for Detox to come out.  Detox is Dre's long awaited album that...still hasn't came out.

In between all of that some songs were released that we thought would make Detox.  None did.  The song is alright, but I see why he ditched it.

Daddy Yankee - Gasolina.  Still.  Holds.  Up.  I'm getting amped just listening to it right now.  During this time, Lil Jon could add 5 songs to any song and it would be a massive hit.  Also Pitbull used to not suck.  And that's something to remember, his early catalog is really good.

Ciara - Goodies.  Goodies was huge during this time.  Ciara was played ad nauseam in the house, until Dustin ruined it.  And then Russell Wilson ruined it even more.  The song is still great though!

We are 5 for 6 so far!

Mariah Carey - It's Like That.  Remember when she had a breakdown?  Then she came back and had a few huge hits, this being the first of them?  Then she went batty again?  Yeah, me too.  The song is still catchy though.  And a Jermaine Dupri sighting!  Oh my!

This song makes me think of two things.  I never got a pair G Unit sneakers, maybe I should look... and of Aaron Pew's room where he'd play 50 Cent videos and chill.  That could be a t-shirt in the future.

The song is still great.  He should've just spaced all of these songs out over 10 years, it would've worked for most of the hip hop artists from that time.

Wreckx-N-Effect - Rump Shaker.  A classic.  The song was added as we occasionally would put a classic song on.  This song will never age, it's great.  Thanks Teddy Riley.



A true hero!

Mario - Let Me Love You.  I will never forget this song.  Ever.  Heard it for the first time in Winnipeg, Manitoba.  Oh Canada, how I loved thee.

This is a remix, a far superior one at that.  Also you'll notice there's a few remixes.  This is legitimately the golden age of remixes.

112 - Don't Hate Me.  112 has played an oddly huge role in my life.  They started off these mixes with their most underrated song "If I Hit".  My daughter was also born on 1/12.  So I'll never forget her birthday.

But...this song sucks.  I'm sorry.  7 for 9!

Ciara - Oh.  Ludacris was huge.  Arguably he is the greatest rap feature of all time.  So he made this decent song above average.  So it makes the cut!  8 for 10!

King T ft Dr. Dre - Money.  Remember King T!?!?!  The great KING T!?!!  Neither do I.  It's a throwaway song on a Dre album.  It's King T's biggest song?  But nobody has heard this right?  So if King T rapped in a forest, would you hear it?

8 for 11....

Stat Quo - Like Dat.  Stat Quo was AMAZING.  I'm not sure what happened to him.  He had a few great songs, this one is clearly on that list.  STATLANTA 4EVA!

9 for 12.

Big Tymers - Beat It Up.  This song is the entire reason that this blog has a parental advisory in the title.  It makes Too Short blush... I completely forgot it was on here... It's still really catchy.

10 for 13.

Jae Millz - You Want No Problems.  Throw on remix, although this was when Pitbull was good.  I'll allow it a listen just for that but...

10 for 14

Jim Jones - Certified Gangstas.  This is pre-ballin' Jim Jones.  It's an average song, it is what it is, but my percentage is dipping down!

10 for 15...dammit!

Young Buck - Stomp.  And then we totally go and redeem ourselves.  11 for 16.  The song is still good.  It's not a single.  It's a diss track, but it's super catchy, Ludacris is on it which is never a bad thing.

So that does it!

Thanks for reading.  Coming up next are my top 10 video games of all time.  More family friendly, less swear words.  More Mario.  Less...Mario?



Jeff

Everyone Blogs

Oh hey there!  If you're a usual reader of this blog you might have a sense of deja vu.  "Is this the 30th time he's going to begin a blog explaining why he hasn't blogged in a long time!?"



Yeah, I don't know.  The motivation hasn't been there.  There's a lot of reasons really.  I'm drained at the end of the day.  Kid.  Work.  Fantasy football trades.  TV show binges (Shameless is back!  We started Dexter!  Sharp Objects is depressing!)  The past few months have also been super busy with weddings, events...and for a bit I couldn't blog because I was running for public office.  Some of the topics I had weren't "voter friendly" so this site was put on the back burner just so I could tie in an election.

Oh and everyone blogs now.  Everybody, myself and yourself included.  Everyone has an opinion now.  Facebook statuses, Twitter, etc.  It's basically a blog, a short blog, but you're blogging.  How does this one stand out?

So is this my last blog?  No.  But I am going to list every single blog idea I've had in the past few months, this way I can start all new.  A clean slate!  Or if I like one of the rejected ideas I'll revisit it in the future.

Ya'll ready for this?

The Hall Pass 

This was an idea that's been pondered for years.  There were a few ways of going about it.  One would've been a tournament for a new hall pass.  One would've been asking a group of friends who theirs were.

The reason why I didn't do it?  Ha, where do I start!?

It looks REALLY BAD.  A tournament seems fun in theory, but it's pretty demeaning.  I can see people getting really offended by it, because people get offended by everything now.

Also I'm a happily married guy, my wife was actually okay with the blog idea, but I mean...it looks REALLY BAD!  So I didn't do it.  Plus if I got new readers out of it, it'd be a bunch of thirsty dudes just looking for pictures....this blog let's me know what pictures are clicked on specifically and let's just say if I include a woman in any of them, people click them...it's weird.

So this one will never see the light of day, but if you wanted to know who it was, the AT&T lady gets a lot of love on this site...



BUT....I usually go back and forth between Margot Robbie and Alison Brie....



Boy I cannot wait to see how many clicks those pictures get, ya freaking creeps.

If I Won $2,000,000

Pretty self explanatory.  What I would do if I won that massive amount of money.  I would do a joking deduction, but the main joke was my student loans would take off $1,374,000.

So then that leaves me with a really short blog, it's not too funny, I'm bored just typing about it.



Best Song By "Insert Band"

This might still happen.  I think it'd be fun.  The first one clearly would've been Limp Bizkit.  The answer?

Nookie.  Which is also their biggest song.  Their best song.  And my favorite.  See, that's fun!

Three categories.  Ex: Notorious B.I.G.

Biggest: Hypnotize
Best: Juicy
Favorite: Sky's the Limit

The main reason I'm hesitant to do this one, is the music blogs do worse than my pro wrestling blogs numbers wise.  They are my favorite ones to write too, so that's a nice kick in the sack when I get the numbers and a blog where I just show celebrity philtrums destroys a "Celebrity March Madness Tournament" blog that took me 3 hours.

I also did a review of music videos that BOMBED.  The Verve/Verve Pipe blog still haunts me to this day.



The Double Barrel: Where Are They Now?

This one was going to go one of two ways.  But first a backstory for those unfamiliar.  The Double Barrel was my house in college.  We had a lot of fun stories, we met a bunch of really fun people.

That leads to part one.  I was going to do a joking "Where are they now?" on the people who visited the house and ended up getting iconic nicknames.  This was all my buddy Alex's idea and it's great.
We had a lot of weird people show up, half had "crazy" before their name.  But here's a few names:

- Greta von Crazy
- Stabber Guy
- Squabbit Dude
- Crazy "insert name"
- TurboSlut 3000

The reason I couldn't do these?  Some things are better left in the past.  The blog might get back to whoever and they might get upset it's brought up.  Did I mention I was running for politics? Ha or that I'm a dad.  I don't need my kid finding that blog whenever she can surf the web and read about a person who thought rabbits and squirrels mated, then killed said squabbit and made a soup.... okay, wow, that might be a really good blog actually.

The second part was going to be a recap of our friend group, kind of a comparison of then versus what's happened to them now?  But that's a really, really, really, really, REALLY bad idea haha.
So that one won't see the light of day...but man, has anybody even heard from Brian in a while!?

The character one, that ones really good.  Alex, let's do that one.



Brief aside, the guy above is also Nature Cat, and that is absolutely crazy to me. For you non parents, don't worry about it.

Everybody Is a Blogger

Long story short, I've met or heard of a lot of weird people lately who do a blog.  Some great stories out of this, I was going to share some of the stories.  I was going to probably complain a time or two about why some people think they should write.  I was probably going to be a huge....jerk.

That's why I didn't write it.  Writing is really cathartic for me.  It's fun.  I like it.  The other people who blog, they might be crazy, but as long as it's not offensive or spreading hate, write away.  I'm not a jerk at all times.  Plus if I'm making fun of someones blog, they can just pull up the aforementioned The Verve/Verve Pipe blog and tear me apart.

Rapid Fire Blog Ideas

- anything ant-Trump, it's not worth my time to post it or argue about it.  People all have their beliefs, we all think differently.

I was at a gas station today and a man who was a politician in town was heckled because he's a Democrat by a Republican guy who had a ton of misinformation.  I debated interjecting until I remembered this blog idea, or really any political debate I've seen online.  Not worth the time.

- anything NFL.  They bomb.  They take too much work.  Who cares.  We did a top quarterbacks of all time blog.  It was fun, but there's like a hundred of them.  The best jerseys one was fun, but I'm over it.

- parenting ones are really fun.  They do really well, I just don't like oversharing a lot about my daughter.  So ya know, sure, I can do a few more of these a year.

- the Nintendo blogs were a blast!  I might re-do them...for a 3rd time.  I will be doing my favorite 10 games of all time list at some point.  Did I lose 50 of you after typing that?  Damn. 

- one I will never do, but would've loved to do a few years ago.  I wanted to recreate Instagram models poses shot for shot.  I'm really glad I didn't, there was going to be some almost nudity, nobody needs to see that stuff...but what an amazing idea.

- older stories from my friend group would be a great read...for people from my friend group.  I might attempt one down the line (a clean one, never one of the crazier ones, and definitely not my top 5 favorite stories from college)

* regarding the top 5 favorite stories from college, if anyone can guess 2 of them, The Kleeman Report t-shirt still hasn't been won...just saying.

Well that does it for me!  This one was fun.  Let's do this again sometime.