Well if this blog isn't a sight for sore eyes! I haven't written a blog since Trump was just pretending to not be a racist.
The reason I haven't written a blog in a while? So much. Two kids. A job where I shouldn't be making jokes about our racist president. Lack of motivation to write one. The fact I write this blog for free and couldn't think of anything good to write about OR I thought of something great to write about and circumstances happened that put it on the back burner.
I used to love writing this blog. Then I didn't and it became a chore, the break was needed. Now I'm back! For now! As I alluded to earlier, I haven't written one since September. Think about all that's happened in between. Not about me, we'll get to that, but all that's happened to you. You've had a pretty wild ride. Some highs. Some lows. But as the title of this blog so blatantly states, nobody has had a year like me.
Where should I start? I'm going to cheat a little, I'm going to start with last June. To the way back machine. Did you know I tied a local election!? If you know me, probably. 188 to 188. City council. It was decided by drawing a name out of a bowl. With TV cameras and photographers there. Watching a drawing...for a political race...where 376 people took the time to vote for a candidate and it came down to drawing a name out of a bowl.
Think I'm lying!? Go ahead. Click it. It took 3 weeks to decide a winner. That's crazy. But maybe all elections should come down to some form of this. The electoral college is outdated, change it to rock, paper, scissors. Out of my tie, people were jokingly saying ways to decide the victor, beer pong, maybe flip (tippy) cup, running after chickens!? I'm down for deciding elections like that. The system is flawed, but it did prove that your vote counts...sometimes. That's the last I'll bring this up until I make a self deprecating joke about it.
AND THAT'S THE MOST BORING PART OF MY STORIES FROM LAST YEAR!! (Also do away with the two party format while we're on the topic of stupid politics.)
So that story alone would be fun for a year recap story. You were hopefully entertained. I left you wanting more...well, did you meet your dad last year?
No? You know who did? Me.
Yeah. I did the old ancestry.com thing, and holy crap it worked. I was under the assumption that my dad was this white trash idiot, with an even trashier family, never met the guy but I'm 100% certain I'm not wrong (it'd be higher if mathematically possible). So I joined ancestry to see if anyone would match with me, see if I had siblings (for those not in the know, it was just my mom and I growing up, no siblings, no dad, some questionable boyfriends of hers for sure), and in the back of my mind, maybe the off chance that someone else would match...well guess the f what!?
I matched with this kind lady named June. She popped up as a match as my aunt on my way back from a fun Kansas City trip (that story is next). I messaged this June lady. She had two brothers. Holy shit, it could be one of them. WTF. Right? Yeah, it ended up being one of them because one did the test, I think the other lied and said he did, cuz he's never popped up on that site, thanks a lot "uncle". (Quick aside, it had to be super weird for two random guys to hear this 36 years later, but welcome to my world, amiright?)
Moving along, talked to the guy on the phone, super nice guy. He might disagree with my comments on the president above, but nobody is perfect. Hopefully I get to meet him in person next year? See you all in Deadwood maybe (it's my favorite place on earth). This year nothing else is happening besides weddings, bachelor parties, and oh yeah... we had a second kid!
So one year tally so far, let's recap. Tied an election that was covered on the news. Figured out who my dad was and talked to him (thanks for the Christmas gift btw if you're reading, I forgot to thank you bro!), and then kid number 2 on the way. We already have one amazing kid, our daughter, she's awesome...so of course we'd want a boy. Did we get a boy? F'ing right we got a boy. Most likely made in KC,MO (where I saw my favorite teams quarterback get knocked out for the season in what was supposed to be their comeback year....). Named him after my grandpa, who isn't my real grandpa, but was like my dad....still with me?
My wife was a trooper, pregnancy was great...until the last month. Ever heard your wife scream for you to come help her at 2 AM? It's the most frightening thing in the world, long story short, airlifted an hour away, she was on bed rest for 3 weeks, THEN had the kid, lost a ton of blood, was scared shitless something was going on there and the kid went to the NICU...I was working in the town an hour away at the time...so it was great for the visiting and work commute, but also crappy at the same time. You see, I love the hell out of my daughter so I made sure her life was as normal as possible during this time, so I drove back and forth, sometimes twice a day for that month. It was exhausting, it was worth it, my daughter is amazing, my wife is a super woman, and my son is just awesome. And that's all I have to say about that.
Why was I in Sioux Falls? Last fall I was told about a job that I went to college for. I went to school to be on TV. It had been 11 years since I've done anything in television. I applied, I got an interview. I did well in said interview, I met someone I grew up watching on TV, I was content with just that interview. I got a second interview. Didn't expect that. Went to interview, didn't care about it, did a tryout, did really well and had a blast. I was content with just that interview.
I believe it was a solid 2 week wait. I was just leaving a job where I did radio stuff, (I'll make a fun comment about that at the end, and really tie this thing together), I had applied at a job where dreams go to die, but I was content to work at a place I was overqualified for and try to be a manager or something, whatever, right? Right before Christmas I was offered the freaking job on the day I had set aside as The Day of Jeff. The Day of Jeff consisted of me sleeping in, going to Hu Hot to engorge my face with good, maybe watch Big Trouble in Little China, take a nap and play Super Mario 3.
But no, I was offered the job. Bad ass...dream job. I jumped in the air. 11 years of after college madness when it came to my career was over...
The job was fun. Stressful. I loved it. I hated it at times. I had to commute an hour back and forth each day which was awesome and crappy. I got to have a lunch with one of my best friends on the regular. See some people up there I don't usually get to see...oh and host a show where I met a lot of interesting local people. The downside? Have you ever had anyone tear apart your personality and looks and it's part of your job? If you haven't, well boy let me tell you, it was a gas! Factor in the commute, gas, not making much, and long story short, I got to do my dream job of hosting a show for 6 months....in this insane, crazy year.
I was offered a decent job in my town, 3 minute commute, my soul isn't crushed when I go there every day, so I took it. One of the hardest decisions of my life when you factor in dream job + not everyone gets to do something like that multiplied by people you barely know asking you about it (STILL) divided by 7.
It's been a year. Will I ever get to do a TV show again? Doubt it...unless you're reading this Jeff Kleeman from Hollywood who I will tag on Facebook about this because now besides the insane story idea I sent you, now I have television experience. Let's get on this...chop chop bud. I will work for far less than Ellen but more than Carson Daly's assistant.
So that's been my year...oh some other things:
- I get casting emails on the regular for Jeff Kleeman, no I won't accept your head shot anymore TONY!
- I'm in a local ad for Vape God the Vape Store...it's on all the freaking time, yes, that's me. Also if you hear an annoying jingle for a gas station that sounds like Rick Astley...that is also me.
- I also made the finals of a reality game show where I could've won a million dollars just for guessing songs.
That's been my year. If you read all of this, thanks, I appreciate it. If you didn't read this, you're not reading this part at all, but thanks for the click if you left after the Trump comment.
He seriously sucks though, get over yourself Trump supporters, he's a horrible person and if you still support him, more likely than not you are as well. Drain the swamp...of racists, sexists, homophobes, anti-women's rights jerks, and elected officials who clearly don't care about you. Stop voting straight ticket for your party. Try to make things better. Because the past year you just read about, things are going straight to shit because of the people in charge, and that's more important than if I got my dream job interviewing someone about how they make homemade deodorant.
Am I doing more blogs in the future? Maybe? But this would be a hell of a blog to go out on. This might be my Sgt. Pepper of blogs. Didn't get that reference? It's my Empire Strikes Back of blogs? Didn't get that? Then I don't know what to tell you. I honestly don't know how to follow this up, but I don't feel like doing music blogs or NES game reviews anymore. Maybe I'll write a short story based on things that happened to me, but if you just read all of this, it wouldn't sound real would it?
Thanks for reading, now go read a book or something. - Cowriter
Jeff
PS Seriously, just re-read this blog...this might be it, it's too ridiculous.
