Word Association - Brian Opp

Word association is Back!  The first one was with Alex Baker, now we get Prairie Tickets own Brian Opp.



As usual, I sent a list of 10 questions, they respond with the first thing that comes to their mind.  And away we go!

1. The Energizer Bunny



Brian: Drum

2. Sammy Sosa

Brian: Neapolitan Ice Cream



3. The Magna Carta



Brian: My dick's too small to use them



4. Abby Chandra



Brian: She's a peach!

5. The best 1980's era actor

Brian: Rick Moranis



6. Is Miracle Whip great!?

Brian: The best!!!



7. Gheorghe Muresan



Brian: John Pancheri



8. The Battle of Bunker Hill

Brian: Archie Bunker



9. Prairie Tickets

Brian: Scalpers!

10. Eastbay Magazine



Brian: Padres jerseys.  I'm clearly still thinking of John.



So clearly the next word association is going to be with John Pancheri!



Thanks for reading,

Jeff Kleeman

Pew's Quarterback Club

Aaron Pew is back to tell YOU who he THINKS are the top 32 current NFL quarterbacks.

I was talking with Mr. Pew (one of like 4 people who still talk to me on the phone out of our group of friends, texting is more convenient, I GET IT!) and we were discussing Chris Simms best quarterback list, which was hot garbage.  

What makes Chris Simms more qualified than Pew to make a "best of" quarterback list?  Chris was an above average college quarterback.  Pew was an above average college drinker.  Chris played for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and SUCKED.  Pew roots for the Minnesota Vikings who currently don't SUCK.  Simms is a douche who is only where he is because of his above average NFL quarterbacks dads genetics and is last name.  Pew is not a douche and is ALSO where he is at because of genetics and his last name.  Both qualified.  

  

We've been in anticipation of this for a week now so let's get started, but first, a message from Mr. Aaron Pew:

It’s the off-season and that means that idiots like me get to make bold predictions and act like we know what we’re talking about. I’ve decided to be one of the idiots that makes lists. This list? It’s the top 32 Quarterbacks in the NFL right now.  

I comprised this list with now in mind. Meaning, I’m not looking too much into career stats…unless I feel like making a biased point about my beliefs.  I’m also not looking into the future…meaning, I’m not going to hold it against Tom Brady for being 63 years old. I’m also not giving special advantages to stupid rookies for having a long shelf life.  Who is the best QB next year? That’s what I’m listing. So, without further ado…here’s my list:

Thanks Pew, and I, Jeff Kleeman, will interject my thoughts with my usual (this...but in bold!).  Enjoy!

32. Mitchell Trubisky

This guy…this guy could be good.  Unless he can’t. I have no idea, to be honest.  I’ve watched a couple of his games this year…two against the Vikings and one other game. He didn’t look good. At all.  The games where people thought he showed promise were still average at best, thus my ranking at 32. He is going into his second year, and we all thought Jared Goff was done after year one, so…

31. Tyrod Taylor

A poor man’s Michael Vick.   Taylor can’t win with a good team around him…he’s perfect for any team that wants to be good enough to miss out on top players in the draft, but bad enough to miss the playoffs all the time.  Now, however, he is on the Browns…so…I give him 4 games before his appendix bursts on the field and he dies. Poor Browns fans…

30. Ryan Tannehill

Why did I start with the bad QBs?  I feel so negative. Tannehill was once considered a rising star, but he didn’t live up to the hype…plus he burned me that one time in fantasy football. Coming off of an injury, it’s hard to say what we will see from him, but it probably won’t be as good as the average QB he used to be…so…bad. (I like Tannehill, but yeah...rough stretch ahead)

29. Joe Flacco

Flacco probably doesn’t deserve to be this low on the list, but he kind of falls into the Tyrod Taylor camp…except he won a super bowl.  He’s obviously better than Marino, right? Wrong. Flacco won because of an elite defense and talent around him on offense. He’s talented enough to win some games, but the Ravens won’t be going to the Super Bowl or probably even the playoffs any time soon if Flacco is their QB. (He didn't make the "elite" joke...Flacco is about as elite as Trump being a good president, hahaha I had to put a politics joke somewhere, right?)

28. Patrick Mahomes

Hype. More hype.  Mahomes might be Carson Wentz 2.0, but I just haven’t seen it yet.  Plus, I’m not a Chiefs fan, so I’m pessimistic. I think he’ll be good, just not yet.  The Chiefs will miss Alex Smith this year at some point.

27. Teddy Bridgewater

TEDDY! TEDDY! TEDDY!  Mr. Two Gloves won’t be on the Vikings next year, but I feel like he’ll always be one of my favorite players.  Even being a fan, I have to admit that he isn’t going to carry a team to a Super Bowl. Teddy needs pieces around him, and he’d be smart to go to a team like Arizona and play with their good offensive pieces.  

26. Nick Foles

Sun, meet dogs ass.  I’m bitter. I’ll admit it (Again, Pew is a Vikings fan, the Eagles may have crushed the Vikings in the NFC championship game).  Did anybody see how terrible Foles was in every game he played in until the NFC Championship?  WTF. Foles can be a successful QB in the NFL, but for now he’ll remain the backup in Philadelphia.  This time next year, he’ll make the Broncos a very happy team.

25. Jameis Winston

Fameis Jameis.  See what I did there?  (We did!!!) Winston can make all of the throws and he’s still getting better, so who knows…maybe he’ll become a top 10 QB next year.  I get the feeling that he lacks the same passion and leadership that many of the QBs I have listed ahead of him.

24. Marcus Mariota (Is this too low for Mariota!? Discuss!)

Man this guy is up and down.  It feels like more down than up, but the guy has the fire.  He regressed last year when everybody expected him to take off, but he still has a lot of potential. At any rate, he’s going to need to do much better than 3200 yards and he should try to throw more touchdowns than interceptions.  Just a thought…

23. Cam Newton (Wow, same comment as above with Mariota!)

Why does everybody love this guy so damn much?  Has anybody ever watched him throw a football? It’s ugly.  If this were a list of top running backs in the NFL, I’d probably list him in the top 10, but as a quarterback…not great at all.  He’s eclipsed 60% completion percentage once in his career…once. The last time I checked, completing passes is a vital part of being a quarterback.  Obviously, Newton is a tough matchup with his size and running ability, but beyond that, he just wears weird shit after the game.

22. Jimmy Garoppolo (I DISAGREE!!! At least top 15...I'm not that big of a homer, maybe I am, go 9'ers)

This feels to high, but what the hell.  Have you seen how white his teeth are? Or is that just a great tan?  His career completion percentage is 67.3% and he threw for 1,560 yards and 7 tds in 12 games. That’s basically 3500 yards and 20 tds in a full season. For an inexperienced qb, pretty good.  But…small sample size. So, that is why he is where he is.

21. Eli Manning

Eli performs when it counts.  But he doesn’t perform the rest of the time.  He has a career completion percentage of 59.8%, and he’s thrown 228 interceptions.  Ouch. Still, the guy has two Super Bowl's so everybody loves him.

20. Andy Dalton

Is he good or is he not? I can’t figure it out.  He seems to have loaded talent every year, but can’t do enough with it.  Plus, he looks like Sid from Toy Story grew up. He’s 62.3% completion percentage for his career, which isn’t terrible, but not great. He seems like he’s in that Joe Flacco or Tyrod Taylor territory.  I’d also call is Jay Cutler syndrome…too good to get a high pick, but too bad to really be worth it.

19. Blake Bortles (dear lord, too high? Just right? Discuss!?)

This seems wrong, but I think he finally gets it.  In the big games this year, Bortles performed. His stats are alright, and I think he finally has respect of his team.  The jury is still out, but the Jaguars obviously have enough faith in him to sign him long term. I think he needs a good supporting cast, but he has one…so at least he has that going for him.

18. Jared Goff

JARED GOFF IS NOT AS GOOD AS EVERYBODY THINKS (agreed).  He has to have his coach babysit him until 15 seconds left on the play clock just to read the damn defense…c’mon man! When he plays average or bad defenses, he’ll light them up, but when he plays top tier defenses (watch his game against the Vikings), he gets embarrassed. Jared Goff should read a fucking book!

17. Sam Bradford

Bradford is a really good quarterback.  I said it. He is. Buuuutttttt….injuries.  Bradford is also as fragile as my chances of hooking up with Jennifer Aniston.  Seriously…what the hell. If Bradford could stay healthy and stays off of teams associates with Jeff Fischer or Chip Kelly, he’d be in the top 10.  I said it.

(Can we talk about Pew's hall pass really quick? Am I the only one that hates Jennifer Aniston? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! And if you're thinking of her character on Friends, she's 10x worse if that's what you're basing it on. I HATE HER! Team Cox, Team Jolie...I still should do that Hall Pass blog, but I can't...yet)

16. Derek Carr

What a disappointment.  Carr obviously has a bright future, but last year was not bright.  How much more firepower can a guy ask for? He had one of the best receiver duos in the league, a top 5 offensive line, and Marshawn Lynch in the backfield.  He regressed. The good news for him? He now gets to play for Chucky. Expect big things for Carr this year.

15. Case Keenum (THERE IT IS!!! THE REACH!)

I feel like I’m reaching here.  I feel like I’m biased. Then again, I don’t think I am.  The stigma out there is that he is a one hit wonder. I don’t think he is.  Now, if he goes to the Jets this year, he might be terrible, but if he is surrounded with some nice pieces, he’ll be a good QB for a while to come.  His stats aren’t bad, but a rating this high comes from swagger…moxy…and huge balls. Keenum played almost flawless football for most of the season and he got better with every game…until he didn’t, and the Vikings sucked dick.  Call me a homer…I’ll call you an idiot.

14. Alex Smith

Captain Check Down? Who gives a shit.  This guy has performed more often than he hasn’t. Smith is the perfect QB for a team with a good defense.  He eats time with all of his 2 yard passes, and he can put up points.  He also threw for over 4,000 yards last year and threw 26 TDs. 5 interceptions?  Sign me up. I’d take Smith on my team any day.

13. Dak Prescott

I don’t really understand why I rated him this high.  He’s performed pretty well, but lets not fool ourselves.  The Cowboys aren’t winning games because of Dak. That’s got Zeke written all over it.  Still, he has really good completion percentage, averages 3,500 yards, and threw only 17 Int in his first two seasons.  I don’t like it, but I guess I’m on board. If I’m being completely honest, tho, I’m just lazy and I don’t want to rearrange this list now.

12. DeShawn Watson (Too high in my opinion, but this is Pew's list...but damn Pew, TOO HIGH!

This guy played like 3 games, but dude…DUDE!  He looked awesome. It is such a small sample size, but I’m all in.  Yes, this has everything to do with him winning me games in fantasy football.  OK, not everything, but a lot…still the guy is a lot of fun to watch. I’m excited to see how he is next year.

11. Phillip Rivers

He’s a douchebag, (HE IS A DOUCHE) but he’s good.  He carries that team on a regular basis and he gets no credit for it.  Full disclaimer, he isn’t really a douchebag…he seems like a nice guy in real like, but he’s a tool on the field.  Still, really good.

10. Kirk Cousins (future Viking, but appropriately rated)

Kirk Cousins is statistically a top 5 QB.  The only reason I didn’t rate him higher is because you would all yell at me.  I’m very sensitive. The knock against Cousins is that he isn’t a winner. I think the knock on him is that he played for the fucking Redskins.  Christ. That team. Give the guy some running game and decent defense, and he’ll carry the rest of the team. Also, I have him in fantasy…and he’s probably going to the Vikings.

9. Andrew Luck

The sad part about Luck is that he’s on a terrible team…imagine if he was on the Falcons!  I think there have to be serious concerns about his health, which is why I rated him as low as I did.  He’s really good, but he didn’t play at all last year, he missed 9 games in 2015…I just don’t know. On the plus side, he looks just like Kyle Jensen, which makes me think happy thoughts all the time when I watch him play.

8. Matthew Stafford

Without Matthew Stafford, the Lions would still be the Lions of old.  Stafford single handedly wins like 7 games each year, and they usually only win 8 games, so that’s impressive.  Even though I hate the guy, I have to respect him. He can come back from anything…except herpes. Nobody can come back from that.

7. Russell Wilson (I hate this guy...so much, but he's here, if not higher, for sure)

When I look at the Vikings opponents each year, Russell Wilson in the quarterback that stresses me out the most.  He doesn’t go down. He can turn a shit play into a miracle at any time. Plus he can actually throw the ball. He is Cam Newton if Cam Newton knew how to throw a football.  Cam Newton is not a good quarterback (Pew HATES Cam Newton).

6. Ben Roethlisberger

Big Ben has had a much better career than people realize. He’s thrown 329 TDs; thrown for 51,065 yards, and his completion percentage is 64.1%.  Damn. He’s still really good, even though he struggled last year. Everybody talked about how terrible he was this year, but…he threw for 4,251 yards, 28 td, and 14 ints.  Shoot. I think 12 interceptions of those were in one game against the Jaguars, so that’s pretty good. As soon as he retires, the Steelers (and all Antonio Brown fantasy owners) are screwed.

5. Matt Ryan

Matt Ryan has thrown over 4,000 yards in 7 consecutive seasons…7.  7! 5 of those 7 were over 4,500. He has a 64.9% completion percentage. If he had won that Super Bowl against the Patriots, he’d be Aaron Rodgers.  Seriously, ya’ll, he’s really good. Any team that has Matt Ryan on it, will have a chance to win it all.

4. Carson Wentz (I'm a big Wentz fan as well)

The sample size is still small, but the guys has an insanely bright future.  He was the MVP of the league…errrr, he would have been if he didn’t get injured.  He’s young, so I’m confident he won’t have a setback. He can beat a team any way, and he’s already showed it.

3. Aaron Rodgers

Last year was rough for the Packers. Not only did they lose Rodgers, they also lost their shoulder to cry on…get it?  Rodgers is great…like really good. Without Rodgers, the Packers are the Lions without Stafford. Did you follow that?  They inspire fear in nobody. They almost lost to the Browns. I don’t need to throw stats at you, you know Rodgers is really good.  I rated him below two other QBs, though, because he’s rather fragile. He’s had major injuries in a few separate seasons…tough to know how that will hold up.

2. Drew Brees

If you need proof of what Brees can do in a game, just watch the second half of the Divisional Round game against the Vikings.  He sliced and diced that defense and won the game 3 times…until he didn’t. HA! Brees isn’t talked about in the G.O.A.T. conversation like Manning, Brady, etc., but he should be.  

1. Tom Brady

FINE! He’s the G.O.A.T.  I submit. He just keeps on going.  Regardless of your thoughts on his placement all time, I can’t think of a better option for a team to have right now.  He’s the reigning MVP, he completed 66.3% of his passes and threw for 4,577 yards & 32 TD’s. Also, he’s married to a supermodel.  I know, I know…we all hate him. I’m with you. Above all that, I have to admit that he’s the best in the game right now.

Well, there it is.  The list. I know I have a lot of quarterbacks in spots a lot of you wouldn’t, but that’s the beauty of this.  None of it matters! Isn’t that great?! What do you think of the list? Let me know in the comments. Thanks! - Aaron Pew

Oh hey, it's me, Jeff, I'm back.  Thanks for reading!  As Aaron John Pew said, if you disagree, agree, or just gree...feel free to comment here, or on the FB page, we'd love to see you argue with Pew, okay, well I would love to see you argue with Pew.  

Coming tomorrow, word associate with Brian Opp and a classic re-post of our first word associate with Alex Baker.  Thanks for reading!

Jeff Kleeman

Stop! There's a Movie On!

I may have gotten lazy last week and waited to release this blog a good 4 days late!  Also the podcast is coming, ran in to some trouble that only this man could help me with!



Thanks Ras!  Computer expert, funny guy, straight shooter...that's Eric Rasmussen. 

So the blog is an easy one this week, and it couldn't have come out at a better time...post Oscars. 

Every Sunday I generally like to lay around (except for yesterday, super busy), and when I lay around my favorite thing to do...besides eating an entire large pizza...is channel surf through movies.  I always enjoy the mystery of what is going to be on. 

The other day The Intern and The Internship were on back to back channels and my head exploded.  So we went and stopped on Jurassic Park. 



Now don't get me wrong, I'm a Sam Neill fanatic, but I never stop on Jurassic Park, or Jurassic Park 2...or 3...I'm not generally a lover of this franchise.  It's a great movie but if I'm flipping through and land on a movie, it's going to be one of the following! 

The Goonies

There is no better movie that shows the torturing of a young child than this one:



It's so good!  Reasons to stop on this are:

- the soundtrack, the Cyndi Lauper song is amazing...oh a link?  Sure!

- the fact that Josh Brolin is still in things makes me laugh
- the pizza place that Chunk is at in the beginning?  Oh, I'VE BEEN THERE!
- just a classic 1980's feel good movie. 

Space Jam

I don't need a gif or a meme to explain why this movie is on my list.  Because it's awful, but it's good awful. 

The game makes no sense.  The acting is awful.  The NBA stars selected all make sense for that time...except Shawn Bradley who shouldn't be in it. 

But it's all great, does that make sense?  No?  Okay, so it takes me to a time in my childhood when I loved all things NBA and Michael Jordan. The NBA in the 90's was the best.  So many memorable players, among them the greatest player in NBA history in Michael Jordan.  It's kinda funny.  Lola Bunny is uncomfortably attractive for a cartoon bunny...because she's clearly Natalie Dormer!



Oh and Bill Murray is in it!

That's your answer.  Next!

Batman



I've seen this movie probably 54 times in my life, maybe 55...who knows?  I just made that number up, but it's up there.  It's the best one out of the "original 4" and the second best one after The Dark Knight. 

I choose this over The Dark Knight because that movie is long as hell, and this one has Jack Nicholson hamming it up and a gloomy Michael Keaton, what's not to love?

Caddyshack

- classic Bill Murray
- hilarious television edits
- again, an amazing soundtrack
- Baby Ruth scene

I dislike Chevy Chase, he has 3 good movies, this is one of them.  * can anyone guess the other two!?

Dumb and Dumber

I first saw Dumb and Dumber in 7th grade.  Our school took us to it the night of our state capital trip to Pierre, SD (if you're not from South Dakota, hell even if you are, now you know the state capital). 

I don't think the adults thought this selection through, and every time I see this movie I laugh about how insane it was to take a bunch of 12 year old's to this movie.  Even edited you get to see a lot of the classic scenes.

Also, this was literally right before Jim Carrey lost his damn mind.  He was such a treasure!

Mr. and Mrs. Smith

I don't know why, but every time this is on, I stop. 

Brad Pitt is pretty funny in it, Vince Vaughn is great...Angelina...



Oh that's right, now it makes sense.  I'm team Angelina by the way, even after the divorce. 

It's a decent movie, I can sleep during it and wake up having felt I missed nothing.  It's a perfect Sunday movie experience. 

Talladega Nights

Our household loves Will Ferrell, even though he has some real crap movies from time to time.

He has so many classics: Old School, which almost made this list, Anchorman, Elf...but I chose this, why? 

Not sure.  But every time it's on, I stop.  It's super underrated.  Sacha Baron Cohen isn't annoying in it (his only good movie is Borat, unless you count Hugo). 

John C. Reilly is great. 



Michael Clarke Duncan (RIP) is great.  So I stop. 

The Incredibles

Pixar is taking over the world.  No crappy movies except for the Cars franchise...I SAID IT!

The Incredibles is my favorite of the bunch.  It's not super sad.  It won't make you cry (Wall-E, Coco, Up).  It doesn't have Tim Allen. 

I have this as my number one all time Pixar movie, in the parenthesis above you can figure out the top 4...with that being said, one less topic of conversation on the Rushmore Review podcast... coming soon!  I swear!

The Replacements

This blog could literally be 10 pages of amazing movies.  I clearly haven't listed all of them, the blog would be too long, and you're probably almost done.  So here's the BEST movie to stop on...



It's not a perfect movie.  There's a ton of flaws.  Orlando Jones is in it.  But if there isn't something about this movie every single damn time I'm flipping through where I think to myself, "I'm going to finish this, I don't even care." 

Keanu is always great, I don't care what anyone says.  Gene Hackman is one of my top 10 favorite actors ever.  The girl (Brooke Langton) in it...is no longer famous, unless you count when she was in Friday Night Lights for a few episodes.  Her casting always make me wonder if Ashley Judd was literally busy the couple of months it took to film this?

Back to the movie!  It's a fun little movie.  It doesn't involve too much thought.  There's football in it.  There's a classic John Madden/Pat Summerall scene that has them do play-by-play of the sex scene. 
It has Gene f'ing Hackman.  Heads or tails I'm done with this blog Gene?   I'm picking tails for yes.



I'm done! 

There are literally tons of movies to add to this.  I missed a lot (Tango & Cash, I'm so sorry!).  If I missed your favorite, or if you have any share, DO IT. 

Later on this week, hopefully that damn podcast will be going up.  Episode 2 is being taped tonight, the top 4 movie soundtracks of all time. 

The end of the week will have word associate with Brian Opp and I believe Aaron Pew is going to get me his list of the top 32 quarterbacks in the NFL, and we know that will be fun to read. 

Thanks for reading! 

Jeff Kleeman

I Have Poop On My Hands: Year One

Thanks for coming back!  This blog will detail everything I've learned about becoming a dad, and on the bottom of the page will be an important announcement about the Kleeman Report and something new that we're trying very soon.

It has been over a year now that I've been lucky enough to be the father of an amazing baby girl.  In that year I have learned a lot.  I've done a lot of things I never thought would be possible.  I've grown as a human being.  Also, I still somehow have my hair.

Still have hair.  Beck approved. 

The other day while changing my daughters diaper, I literally grabbed poop with my bare hand.  And while holding that poop I thought to myself, "This would make an amazing blog".  So here we are, the top things I've learned in the past year from being a parent.

- We'll start with the poop.  I was terrified of changing diapers before she came along.  But in all honesty, changing diapers isn't that bad.  There's been some truly crappy days (get it!?), but other than that there's worse (try getting boogers out, she avoids wipes like the plague).

But the main surprise out of year one.  I literally had to grab a poop off the floor.  And it was horrible.  And I've had to grab poop off of my clothes.  And out of her hair (don't ask).

I've also gotten the triple crown of diaper changes, in a car, on a boat, and in a bathroom on an airplane.  That's now on my resume btw.

- Toys.  Hundreds of hundreds of dollars worth of toys.  I've known for years kids would rather play with a box or bubble wrap, I never knew kids would throw all their toys away in a minute just to play with this:



Every remote control in the house has to be locked up...out of arms reach.  She reprogrammed our cable box.  She has almost put a parental lock on our television.  So either she's super tech savvy, or she really wants us to not watch TV.

And the things she finds.  So much danger averted daily.  Like every day (- Dustin Schempp).  My wife had a knife joke to add to this, but the thought is just so frightening that I'll gladly have my child lock me out of my television before she gets close to anything more dangerous.

- My baby could star in the remake of The Rock.  I'll be Sean Connery, she'll be Nicolas Cage, but not creepy and a better actor.



We'll get Ed Harris for the sequel, because Ed Harris rules.



We can set up any blockade.  Any barrier.  Anything.  My daughter will somehow get out of it.  I'm pretty sure I'm going to start training her to break in to a bank vault and see what she can get.  It'd be just my luck though that she'd come out with a remote control.




- for you parents out there.  Remember sleeping in?  Newsflash, there's not much sleep with being a parent.  I was ready for it, but I wasn't prepared.  Does that make sense?  I knew there'd be no sleep, and I was fine staying up late, but I was surprised how not fine I was to wake up after 30 minutes to 2 hours of sleep.  It was a lot to get used to.

Side effect of that?  I can now match The Rock on his schedule (google it, it's insane).  That dude wakes up at 4 am to work out and start his day (glaring difference, our workouts are 100x different).  I can now survive off of about any amount of sleep, if you see me on the regular you'll for sure hear me complain about it, because it sucks, but I can do it.  And that's half the battle.

- freaking television commercials where a child ages in front of your eyes.  Then it shows the dad at the end all proud...I now HATE those commercials.  Not because they are bad, but...well Bojack will explain:



Those damn commercials just tug at my heartstrings.  And if there's a TV show or movie and it deals with a kid, specifically a daughter, get outta here!  I get super angry and invested.  I've now watched the movie Taken 35 times this year, for training.



- I have aged.  I think?  Not as well as Matt Damon did surely...



Literally one morning after a long night, I looked in the mirror and was like, "Damn, I look old!".  Which comes with the territory of being in your mid-30's, but still...it's happening.  My theory pre-child was right on the money.  I went to my 10 year high school reunion in 2010 (Class of 2000!).

I looked around, and no offense to those of you who read this and had kids at that time....but I thought, "Holy crap, some people look old as s**t".  Now keep in mind, at that time I was a party going, energetic 28 years old.  I was single at the time (I think?), no child, could sleep in whenever, could go on a brisk jog whenever.  Fast forward 8 years later, and I'm now one of you.

Could be worse though, I could be a single 35 year old....and that'd just be embarrassing. (that one is probably more offensive than looking old at 28...damned if I do, damned if I don't...)

- Quick, what's the hardest thing about being a parent?  Any guesses!?

It's this:



They don't stay on.  Or one is always lost or missing after laundry.  Or she tries eating them.  Just something about these make them my krytonite.

Which is the ultimate irony, because if you know me, I have one of 3 collections (you have to collect things when you're older to stay young I think?)

- classic NES games (I have 21 to go, hit me up if you have any!)

Not my actual collection

- 1990's WWF Hasbro figures (not ashamed)

Not my actual collection

- socks...tons and tons of socks (picture not needed, visit my Instagram if you want to see them at: https://www.instagram.com/jeffkleeman/ 

For all the socks she loses, I will now purchase 2 pairs...it's only fair...and my wife just gave me a look.  Never mind on the sock purchases!

-  Finally, other parents.  Every version of me, Jeff Kleeman, has judged parents.  I judge everybody, it's just what I do.  I'm a people watcher, and I love analyzing everything to death, so of course I always thought most parents were just awful, or crappy.  Oh, your kid is screaming in the middle of the store?  Quiet that kid down!

Now I get it...half the time.  Now you can call me crazy for saying this, but kids have a mind of their own!  They do!  So now I can relate to the parent trying to calm their kid down from a meltdown.  Or running all over the place after your kid.  Or parents getting to a family gathering and handing their kids off and dong whatever, you need a break, again...I get it!

That being said, the other half of parents still suck.  Some people don't discipline their kids.  Or help them learn and be better people.  And that's disappointing, because those kids will grow up to do the same.  But that's a whole other blog (tentatively titled: 98% of All People Suck, Here's Why!).

So thank you for reading!  If anybody has anything to add, feel free to post in the comment section on Facebook or right here on this very blog!  Thank you all for reading!

Jeff Kleeman

ANNOUNCEMENT:  

I am very glad to announce that my hilarious cousin/brother Brad Simons and I will be starting a podcast very shortly called Rushmore Review.



We will be reviewing pop culture topics, one per week, and doing a top 4 each...our own personal Mount Rushmore if you will.

Also, I will be making a Facebook page for Kleeman Report shortly, which hopefully you all will join.  I will post the blog and podcast links there, as well as some "classic" reports from the past.

Thanks to everyone for reading, and very shortly, listening.  And if anybody knows Argo corn starch people, we are very interested in them as a sponsor.

Until next time!

10 of 2017

I'm back!  With friends!




So the new tradition of doing a top music list at the end of the year has grown, in people and in songs!  This year three of us (Kleeman, Ras, Opp) will be picking the top 10 (no longer 5!) songs of the year.  This is an easy blog, so let's just get down to business, shall we?

Let's start with the new addition:

Opp: 



10: Camila Cabello - Havana

9: Bruno Mars - That's What I Like

8: Post Malone - Rockstar

7: Beck - Up All Night

6: Portugal, the Man - Live in the Moment

5: Khalid - Young, Dumb and Broke

4: Spoon - Hot Thoughts

3: AJR - Weak

2: Post Malone - Congratulations

1: The Killers - The Man

Ras:



10: Pop Evil - Waking Lions

9: THEORY - Rx

8: Thrice - Hurricane

7: Nothing but Thieves - Amsterdam

6: Bobaflex - Say What You Will

5: Don Broco - T-Shirt Song

4: Nothing More - Go To War

3: In This Moment - Roots

2: Foo Fighters - Run

1: Stone Sour - Fabuless

Kleeman:



Since it's my list, I get to explain why I picked the following songs.  I also get to start with an honorable mention of the BEST pop song this year!!!!

HONORABLE MENTION: Charlie Puth - Attention

- it's the best mainstream pop song of 2017, I stand by that statement.  Every time it's on, I'm just gonna keep it on the station, I have no shame.  

10: Lorde - Homemade Dynamite

- My favorite Lorde song since Tennis Court.  She's super talented, and I have a crush on her, there...I said it.  

9: St. Vincent - Los Ageless

- Great song by a great artist.  Underrated. 

8: Kendrick Lamar - HUMBLE

- The best rapper out right now...and he doesn't have much competition anyway.  A classic. 

7: Beck - No Distraction

- I was so glad Beck came back this year with a poppy/happy album.  My favorite artist of all time, with 2 songs on this list.  

6: M83 - Walkway Blues

- I heard this at Beck and instantly Shazamed it, you seeing this producers of Shazam?!  Pick me!  Great song regardless.  

5: Childish Gambino - Redbone

- This song is my alarm, I wake up to it every day.  It's that good I'm not even tired of it.  

4: Portugal, the Man - Feel It Still

- The biggest surprise in music was this band getting huge, and this song was the catalyst for that. 

3: Michael Kiwanuka - Cold Little Heart

- Did you see Big Little Lies?  This is how I first discovered this song, and I'm glad I did.  He has more great songs, look him up.  

2: Beck - Colors

- Beck's best song in years.  I listened to this 3-4 times in a row when I first heard it.  

1: The Killers - The Man

- This made number one on two separate lists.  I'm glad the Killers have a good song again after 10 years.  I said it, sorry Brandon.  

And that's it!  The 10 favorite songs of 3 people who know music.  If you're interested in next year, maybe I'll add one more...maybe.  Thanks for reading and look out for my last blog of the year...where I meet myself, Jeff Kleeman, from 10 years ago.

Jeff