I'm Apparent

One month in on being a parent and here we are.  If our life was a movie (the rights still are up for grabs producer Jeff Kleeman in Hollywood!), this would be the part where halfway through we're at the "WHY WON'T SHE STOP CRYING!" part and then a montage of us trying to make her stop to an amazing song, probably this one by Hall and Oates:

Kids...they love to cry.  They also like to be incredibly adorable.  Zoe is awesome.  So since we're at over a month (holy crap), I'm going to do some random observations before my next blog which has to be about how horrible Trump has been, right!?  Or maybe a comical list of who will be a better president in 2020...yup, that's definitely my next blog.  But until then....

MORE RANDOM THINGS I HAVE NOTICED AS A PARENT!

- it now takes over 4 days to watch a complete movie.  No matter the length, I just watched Other People (decent flick, sad surprisingly) and it took me a week.  I can't imagine how long a 3 hour movie would take.  Til 2020?!

- let's get to what we're all thinking: poop.  Poop gets everywhere.  I think by the end of the day, I approximately have 1,000,000 flecks of poop dust all over me.  No joke.

- I believe I spoke about this in the last blog (parent brain, it's real), but my kid could be at a Metallica concert and be passed the f out.  But if I even have a drink of water from across the room, she is going to wake up with GREAT VENGEANCE AND FURIOUS ANGER!



- I hate people wanting to hold my kid, especially people I've never met.  It's not so much you...but it's you.  You may have a cold, or not washed your hands, or not gotten your flu shot.

Our whole family was together last week, and as she was being passed around I just kept thinking, please I hope you washed your hands.  Then people I've never met, or haven't seen in years, or people when I was out and about in town, I definitely was hesitant about.  This might sound dickish, but I guarantee you all thought this if you had a newborn.  And nobody wants a sick kid, she already cries enough as is....

- speaking of my family, I found out you guys all read this!?  Hey everybody!  Hope you all don't mind the cuss words, 49'ers rants (great head coach hire!) and random thoughts.  And hi Ethan!  Milo says hi and wants you to write him.



- playing video games is done, for like a long time right?  I luckily don't play any online games, due to all of them making me motion sick.  But I love me sports games, and I love my collection of NES games even more.

The sports games I have to pause about as much as I would while watching a movie.  The NES has something called cords (it wasn't always wireless people under 23...random age I selected).  So I now have a collection of 70 something games that I can't play until Trump is out of office in 2020 (next weeks blog!  How's that for promotion!?).

- earlier I alluded to how long it takes to finish a movie, but on the flip side of that, wow my DVR and Netflix queue is cleaning up!  I'm caught up on everything where I can even start a new show.

So, a little interaction here, I'm about to start 1 of 3 shows with my wife, feel free to text, message or post on this blog or FB site your vote (just don't do it by telegraph, I need to brush up):

- Brooklyn Nine Nine
- Veep
- Santa Clarita Diet

- also since we're all caught up on the queue, shows to watch ya'll!!!

- Luke Cage
- The Crown
- Stranger Things
- Mr. Robot

That's just 4, we've seen....more than that.

- and finally, what did people do before Facebook and the internet with pictures of their kids!?
If you would like a photo, I can text one, or maybe even get one printed out and send it if we're close enough.

We don't need to document her every waking minute and put it online (if you do this, it's completely fine, you do you.  Everyone has a different opinion on this, this is ours).  We take pictures just for us, not someone I went to high school with and haven't spoken with in 18 years (wow I'm old).  So relax, because once she gets Facebook in high school, I'm sure she will share more than enough.

That's it for this week!  I'm really looking forward to next weeks blog, you know, the one where I come up with candidates to replace this Trump mess.

Until next time....

Jeff Kleeman