The Fab Four

People LOVE lists.  In my experience, especially with this blog, if you make a list, you get some hits.
I mean, look at Buzzfeed.  A website of 90% pure garbage, but you make a list of your favorite Kardashian nail polishes and boom!  Advertising.  And I want that money!  I'm having a kid, so I want them web hits, so let's do this!

The top four list will not be in any particular order.  There will already be some scandalous choices (especially with my women of Game of Thrones selections)!  Also if you're a common reader of this website, the less work I have to do on this, the better.  Let's begin with an easy one.

TOP FOUR WRESTLERS OF ALL TIME

1. Hulk Hogan
2. Stone Cold Steve Austin
3. The Rock
4. Ric Flair

See, that was easy right?  And there's no order, but it's these 4 easily.  Let's keep these lists going.

HOTTEST WOMEN ON GAME OF THRONES

1. Dany
2. Sansa
3. Missandei
4. Melisandre

Um trying to avoid spoilers, so let's just say, I'm going these four.  I have a weird thing for the witch, ask my wife.  And Missandei is the most underrated girl on the show.



NBA Mount Rushmore

1. Michael Jordan
2. Magic Johnson
3. Larry Bird
4. LeBron James

Oh no Bill Russell!?  I don't care.  He played versus less talent.  Jordan is the GOAT.  The other two because they ruled.  And LeBron because what he's done is incredible, and if he makes Space Jam 2, I'm putting him second.

Eminem Records

1. Marshall Mathers LP
2. The Eminem Show
3. Recovery
4. Slim Shady LP

Encore almost made this list, there's some good stuff on there.  Relapse was nice to have him back, but the less said the better, although 3 AM is on that.  While I'm on the topic of rap...

Best Rapper EVER

1. 2Pac
2. Jay-Z (pre-2009)
3. Biggie Smalls
4. Andre 3000

Nothing like this white boy from South Dakota picking the best rappers ever.  You mad Nas isn't on there?  Should be.  Eminem is awesome, clearly.  Kendrick Lamar?  One day.  Bubba Sparxxx,  Um...

Best Seattle Mariners

1. Ken Griffey, Jr.
2. Edgar Martinez
3. Jay Buhner
4. Harold Reynolds

Hey, they are no longer my favorite MLB team, but I can still make a random list about them, right!?
ARod will never make this because he's a jerk.  Randy Johnson is close, but let's not forget he forced a trade.  Jamie Moyer is close.  But look at Harold Reynolds.  JUST LOOK AT HIM!!!



Top Golfers 

1. Jack Nicklaus
2. Ben Hogan
3. Arnold Palmer
4. Tiger Woods

Woods you could've been #1!!!!  You and your porn stars.  And Arnold Palmer makes this strictly for being possibly the most awesome athlete of all time.

Top Four Fruits

1. Pineapple
2. Grapes (red)
3. Oranges
4. Apples (any color)

This list will get the most hate, I bet you!  You ever had grilled pineapple?  HAVE YOU!?

Adam Sandler Movies

1. Happy Gilmore
2. Billy Madison
3. Big Daddy
4. The Waterboy

Isn't it sad that nothing in the past 16 years has even come close?  THEY'RE ALL GONNA LAUGH AT YOU!

Best Frozen Pizzas

1. DiGiorno
2. Party Pizza
3. Tombstone
4. California Pizza

Yeah I went California Pizza, take that Red Baron!  Party Pizza is still the bomb.  Don't believe me? Go to the grocery store, buy one, bring it here and I'll eat it and tell you as much.

Super Mario Games

1. Mario Kart
2. Super Smash Bros.
3. Super Mario World
4. Super Mario 3

Yes, Super Mario RPG is my favorite game.  But.  I just won't go and replay it like these 4.  In fact, if you want to get that Party Pizza and come over to play some Mario Kart, I'm cool.  I asked my mom if it's cool if we stay up past midnight, but you gotta go shortly after it.  Curfew.

Best Soda

1. Dr. Pepper
2. Coca Cola
3. Dad's Root Beer
4. Wild Cherry Pepsi

Am I kidding on one of the above!?  Maybe.  But it got you thinking about how awesome Dad's Root Beer is, didn't it?  Clearly 3 is Sprite.  Yum.  And caffeine free if that's a concern to you like it used to be for me.

Towns in South Dakota

1. Vermillion
2. Deadwood
3. Deadwood
4. Deadwood

I gotta put my hometown on here.  And Deadwood is the best place on the planet.  Clearly.  If you want to get nitpicky, add, um Canton at 3 and Sioux Falls at 4.  Brief aside, Sioux Falls used to be higher, but you jumped the shark at being compared to San Francisco...I've been to San Fran, and you Sioux Falls, are no San Fran.

Best SNL Cast Member

1. Will Ferrell
2. Bill Murray
3. Chris Farley
4. Fred Armisen

This was a tough list.  And I'm sure I'm going to get some guff on no women, but that's just how deep this show is/was.  My literal dream (I literally dreamed this, thanks for waking me up Brad) was to write skits for SNL and date Kristen Wiig (pre-meeting my wife, pre-Wiig kinda sucking).



And Kate McKinnon is funny as hell.  And no, I'm still not overly excited about the new Ghostbusters, and no not because it's all women, but because it looks like it sucks and Fall Out Boy remade the song.

Top 90's Things I Miss

1. Starter Jackets
2. Ecto Cooler
3. No Social Media
4. Fruit By the Foot

Top 49'ers 

1. Joe Montana
2. Jerry Rice
3. Ronnie Lott
4. Steve Young

I thought this list would be harder, but it really wasn't.

Best Chick Flick Movies From a Dude

1. Devil Wears Prada
2. Miss Congeniality
3. Bridesmaids
4. The Notebook...duh.

Gosling all the way!  Prada is one of the funniest memories I have of watching a movie (eating SpaghettiO's with my roommate Schempp and feeding them to a stray cat).

Top Ex-Girlfriend's of Derek Jeter

1. Scarlett Johansson
2. Jessica Alba
3. Minka Kelly
4. Adriana Lima



Congrats on getting married to a super model Jeter.  A starting shortstop on the Yankees who has won multiple World Series, got 3,000 hits and is almost internationally loved by the masses, even while playing on the evil Yankees, also gets a super model half your age...what does this guy get depressed about?  I bet his wi-fi never goes out and he's never stubbed his toe on anything.  Jerk.

Top Four Annoyances At This Moment

1. Trump
2. Anti-vaxxers
3. Facebook political/news conversations
4. Racists who pretend to not be racist

That's a good one to end on I think!

I could literally go on and on, hell, I almost did Top Four Kleeman Report Blogs, but there's just too many to list, amirght!?!?!

So thank you for reading.  Sorry I was a day late Dani Wooldrik, I assure you, it will happen again.

Jeff Kleeman