We interrupt our regularly scheduled broadcasting of top 4 lists, hating Facebook and Trump and humble bragging about my sperm working to bringing you a blog about the WWE DRAFT!
YEAH! I know what you're thinking, a draft for a "fake" wrestling show. Yup. Because if you know me, I like professional wrestling and I like drafts. Drafts of all kinds (non-military)! So I would like to give you non-wrestling fans the opportunity to depart right now (thanks for the website hit!). Later this week I'll play Nintendo and take some pictures, and boom, back to normal. Until then...
For those of you still around. Let's do this! Because this is a really interesting time for the land of the written reality. Splitting up the two shows and going separate ways is the best thing for their business. Getting new match-ups and some fresh stories is essential. So I've decided to do a top 10 (see, still a list!) of who will get picked. Later this month we'll do a Fantasy Football one of these too, so get used to this.
First let's begin with some people who will just miss the top 10, but I want to list because they are awesome anyway. In no particular order:
- Shinsuke Nakamura (will be in NXT for a bit, but if he's called out tomorrow I"ll probably yell out loud at home, he's amazing).
- Brock Lesnar (he's a part timer, and he just got busted for roids, so top 10? Who knows? But not worth it).
- Cesaro (one of the best performers on the show, except for the whole talking thing).
- Rusev (two reasons, he's awesome is first, second: Lana)
- Finn Balor (he'll be picked tomorrow for sure, and that's exciting, but not top 10 material, he's like drafting Tom Brady in Fantasy Football, you know he's a stud, but there's better positions to fill first).
- Sami Zayn (he's awesome, a future champion, but not happening in the top 10)
- Charlotte (she's Ric Flair's daughter, kind of a b on the show, current champion, but there's better women out there).
- Paige (if you read this site, you know this pains me, I AM SO SORRY PAIGE!!!!).
So let's get in to this top 10 shall we?
10. Big Cass
Big Cass is awesome. His tag team partner is this guy:
They just scream pro wrestling. Unfortunately, they are both so awesome, I can see them being split up. It just makes sense...sadly.
So Big Cass goes his separate ways from Enzo. Who knows, maybe they'll let his girlfriend Carmella come along for the ride.
Either way, Cass wins.
9. The New Day
Apparently not all tag teams get split up so...... you gotta keep these guys together.
If they are broken up, people will revolt. I mean seriously, they bring a trombone to the ring. A TROMBONE!!!
They have unicorn heads and talk about everything from Lil Boosie to Pokemon. Keep them together.
NEXT!
8. Sasha Banks
She is the most popular girl on their show, best female wrestler and hall pass of Brad Simons.
She is also Snoop Dogg's cousin, so again Sasha, if you're reading this, give this guy a chance!!!
You are the best girl on the show, number 8 in the draft you go Sasha! Sorry Paige! I AM SO SORRY!
7. Bray Wyatt
This is a guy who they've been f'ing around with the past few years. He always loses big matches.
Then they have him come back and start another feud, just to lose it again. This guy should be awesome, I mean look at him!
He is simply terrifying.
Fact is, he's supposed to be the new Undertaker, so let's start treating him like it.
6. A.J. Styles
The best performer on their show all year? Dean Ambrose? Roman Reigns? Nope. It's the guy from TNA who looks like Billy Ray Cyrus.
He is definitely a top 10 pick. He's the equivalent to taking Drew Brees with a top 10 pick if you want to get in comparisons. A bit older but still awesome.
5. Kevin Owens
Kevin Owens possibly might be my favorite person on the show. He's kind of a Stone Cold Steve Austin kinda character. He's great. His Twitter is legit awesome. And he looks like he can kick almost anyone's ass.
Whoops, wrong picture.
Easily a main eventer for years to come.
4. John Cena
Let's get this outta the way. John Cena is this generations Hulk Hogan or Stone Cold. He seems to legitimately be one of the nicest guys out of the ring with his Make-A-Wish visits. He also is in a lot of good movies and surprisingly good in them. Also, also (also squared) he was a great host of the ESPY's last week.
With that being said, he's getting old. He's not top 3. And his character needs to follow the likes of Hogan and Austin and become an unbelievable heel (bad guy for those of you who decided to read this blog who don't know the lingo).
3. Roman Reigns
I dislike him immensely but I see the appeal, kinda like Justin Bieber. He will eventually be their number 1 guy if he learns how to talk and stops using steroids.
Seriously, stop pushing him down our throats.
2. Dean Ambrose
He is the current champion. He's my favorite, characterwise he's great. He's like a new Roddy Piper, minus the kilt.
RIP RODDY! So Ambrose is damn near the complete package. He's great. There's only one better than him. But don't worry because you have the coolest interview person ever Ambrose.
1. Seth Rollins
He's the new Shawn Michaels.
I should rephrase that, Rollis is a new Shawn Michaels with better hair but a worse fashion sense.
He can be the best face (good guy) or best heel (again, bad guy) hands down, which is amazing because his ceiling before turning on The Shield was at best being the next Jeff Hardy.
So here is your number 1 pick...Seth Rollins!
Thanks for reading everyone! Have a great evening. Or morning. Or afternoon. Whenever you're reading this, I just sure hope it's great!
Jeff Kleeman
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