This Is 39

 

*DISCLOSURE

I'm an open book, I was originally putting the finishing touches on my blog "Stay Close, Move Far" about my interview with SDPB about moving away from South Dakota.  Then the weirdest feeling hit me, I was writing a blog about South Dakota, writing about how I need to stop writing about South Dakota...so I stopped writing it.  Here's a link if you want to read the interview I had.  

Here is the link: SDPB Link

The reporter did great, she got most of what I stated in there.  I went to school for journalism, dabbled in the TV for a bit as well...you do these interviews to get your story how you want.  We moved for those reasons, among others.  I also said nice things about the people in the state, and I CLEARLY love the state.  It just didn't make it in, which is fine.  But that doesn't need to be covered by me in a very long...very angry...blog.  

If you read this blog, you know my feelings (some don't apparently, I'm just a text away, honestly ask me anything and I tell the truth, weird how that works) about why we moved.  No need to cover it in this blog for the FOURTH time.  The Kleeman Report, sadly, started to gain a lot of steam in college because I, as the kids say, used to spill the tea.  I got away with a lot on the re-read I did, some good, some very bad, and that's not who I am anymore.  You change.  You get older.  You realize drama is dumb and that's why you stay out of it (or not write an angry blog aimed at people who probably won't read this).  I had a lot living rent free (again, as the kids say) in my overactive mind and it's time to let all of that go.  If anything I do or say is in yours, maybe you should let that go too.  Life's short.  Have fun.  Wear shades. 

THIS IS 39

Getting older sure is weird, isn't it?  I got done taking my shower the other day and I realized...there's a gray hair in my eyelash...and this blog idea came to me.  What new things have I noticed?  What is different now in my routine?  Is it spelled grey or gray?  

All of these and more will be in the following, with easy to read bullet-points!!!  Yeah!!!  We all love bullet-points!  Let's go!  Cut 'em up!

• I'm going to do a tie in with what I wrote from above.  Getting older, you just kinda stop caring as much what anyone thinks of you anymore.  It's not good for the brain.  And if you have an imagination like me, anything can just sit in your head for as long as you let it.  I have the bad habit of wanting to have the last word as well, but since I had kids that's just not going to be a thing anymore.  So let people think what they want, I'd rather play cars with my son or do something creative with my daughter.
• Now that the "heavy" part is out of the day.  My eyelashes getting gray was very unforeseen.  Like that's a thing!?  Why!? 
• Everyone, boy or girl, if they are under 25 looks 12.  I got carded buying alcohol the other day and the kid looked like he was on a Nickelodeon show.  The Suite Life of Zack and/or Cody ID'd me and it was surreal...oddly while I was buying cereal.
• Speaking of which!  Cheap brands were always kinda looked down upon when I was growing up, now they are my jam (except for Cinnamon Toast Crunch, not happening).  
• Speaking of which part 2!  Cheap clothes now vs when I was growing up...a 100% improvement.  Walmart or K-Mart clothes back then?  Just pure garbage.  Then they decide to step their game up when I'm in my 30's, where I MUST BUY a Wrestlemania t-shirt because it's freaking dope.
• Oh my god my chest hair is now grey/gray.  
• At 39, you start to feel like a turd to my mom for the above 2 reasons, because honestly food is food.  Sorry mom!  I easily could've enjoyed Dr. Hy-Vee just as much as Dr. Pepper.  They both got their doctorates, take that Mr. Pibb!
• If I don't use a foot cream...my feet look like those of an 80 year old man.  Now my feet look like the feet of a 45 year old man.  Quite the improvement.
• Everything hurts, but then you forget about it, until you think of that body part.  If you're over 32 right now and reading this, think of your neck in your head.  It hurts doesn't it?  Sorry, not sorry.
• I used to be a night owl.  I would even watch James Corden, that's...that's a problem...that is until I had children.  Now 10 PM, get me some news, get me some weather, maybe a chapter in a book and BAM, bedtime by 10:30.  
• I was at the pool last week, hanging with my son while Heather was with our daughter.  A kid under 25 walked by (could've been 12, 16, 18, or 25, I CAN'T TELL!).  Blink 182 was playing..."I love this oldie, it's so good!"...and then, depression set in.  
• Every hair imaginable...is now grey/gray.
• Drinking is so different.  A few things to discuss here.  A drank a lot in college, more than probably 20 of you reading this.  I don't know how I survived.  I was telling a neighbor about mix drink Monday in college.  We had the biggest night on campus at our house, on a Monday night, just drinking liquor.  Playing liquor pong.  Teams of 2-3 splitting a 1.75 of cheap alcohol...and we destroyed it, woke up the next morning and got Pizza Hut lunch buffet, repeat.  The dude was baffled that this was a thing...now just thinking about it, I want to vomit.  
• So before that previous paragraph gets too long, I can have about 5-6 IPA's in a night and not be hung over.  But I might have 2-3 drinks and go out and feel like garbage the entire next day.  
• I could have a few glasses of wine and feel okay...also in my 30's, wine has now become a thing for me.
• Blacking out isn't as cool anymore in your late 30's...it probably...never...was cool to begin with.  I just can't imagine drinking that much again now and then not knowing what I did the night before...I freak out if I forget to lock the door. 
• Fish Oil pills.  
• Dieting is a funny thing.  It sucks and if you are trying to diet I want to let you know it's the hardest thing to do.  Burger King ads with new delicious burgers.  McDonald's has the ice cream machine working.  Tacos.  Sushi.  Meat.  All of it is so good and it's constantly on TV.  I'm not currently dieting, but I've tried to watch what I eat...it's insanely difficult.
• I say the above because I got rid of dairy for a week, and my body felt great...but I love cheese.  I literally cannot live without cheese.  I found a substitute, it was good, but if I kept buying it kiss one of my kids savings accounts goodbye, it's that expensive.  So back on the cheese.  

I honestly could keep going, but I like the length of this (that's what she said) blog.  Not too long, definitely not too short.  If you have any funny observations, feel free to share.  Until next time.

Jeff Kleeman

Guess Who's Back?

I am back!!!  Sorry for the long delay, but I didn't feel like doing the blog for a few reasons.

1. I was super lazy and had nothing to write about.
2. I moved!

So I moved back to my hometown of Vermillion, SD.  The town I grew up at, went to college in, and eventually got burned out on.  And now look at me!  I'm back!  Back as a married man, with experiences of living elsewhere (Sioux Falls and Lincoln...so it's not like I went to South America).

Speaking of Lincoln, quick goodbye to the city I thought I'd never like.  As a non-Husker fan, I went in to the move...let's say not the most excited.  But, what ended up happening was the city became quite the surprise.  There's a lot to do.  The Husker fans weren't that bad (out of town fans are 10x worse).  Tons of concerts, places to eat, a lot of new friends were made.  Most importantly, a lot of big life experiences happened there.  We rescued a dog.  I got engaged.  I worked at the most bipolar job (longest place I've ever worked, oddly, also may do a blog about it someday, but not sure how nice it'll be).  Oh and I got married!

Lucky me!

Now while I will miss Lincoln, I am quite excited to be back in my hometown.  That also got me thinking, what else should come back?  What things need to make a return?  Ecto Cooler is coming back, which because of this blog, I found out a lot of my friends are fellow "Ecto's" (I made that word up, and I will not apologize).

Is there a dude version of this shirt?

So let's go through a list of what needs to come back starting with...

This.... all of this.  Crystal Clear Pepsi needs to come back RIGHT NOW.  Come on!  It's EVERYTHING!!!  - Van Halen

Seriously, let's get this to come back, bring it back sporadically like the McRib!  Surge is back, and people were excited, but guess what?  Surge sucks compared to Crystal Clear Pepsi.  Get this done, bring back Van Haggar even!

You know what else needs to come back?  Rock stars.  Who is the biggest rock star now not over the age of 40?  Seriously.  Who is the lead singer of Imagine Dragons?

Answer: This guy!

Flip phones.  Need to come back in a big way.  I don't even care if it's a smart phone.  I just want to turn off my cell phone like an adult and flip it off!  Well, not in the traditional sense, but you get the gist.

Next is a well known complaint of many, MTV.  But it's not what you think.  What we over glorify is how that channel was awesome back in the day.  They sort of were, but not because of the music videos.  It was because of Rock N Jock!!!

You're welcome, that video up there is the ENTIRE GAME!  Key ingredients, sprinkle in some hosts of your video shows, add in a little actors and rock stars, then BOOM, get the best players of the era and you got yourself a hit show.  Maybe even have Daisy Fuentes come back to host, she's probably aged well....wait...

SHE MARRIED RICHARD MARX!?!?

Wow.  She really married Richard Marx.  Um, next on the list, bring back Richard Marx?  We can use some more catchy, light music in our lives.

Something else we need more of in our lives?  Psychics.  Lady Cleo, I'm looking at you girl.

Someone should call this, let me know what happens.

I wanted my psychics to be paid like they should, by calling an 800 number and giving your credit card information.  None of this tarot reading crap.  Or random people who think they are mediums.
We need you Lady Cleo, you're our only hope.

Sport movies, not as good.  You want to see the '27 Yankees of sports movies?  Look no further than the following:

Rookie of the Year
Little Giants
Ladybugs
The Sandlot

Burn.

Kids today have crap for movies and more options to watch them in.  Get some awesome movies made for the new generation of kids, where they have misadventures, get some hot girl and try some cigs for the first time.

POLITICAL OPINION:  How about have the jerk businessman go back to being a businessman so idiots don't vote for him (if you don't think you're an idiot, you are).

So true.

Baseball needs to be awesome again.  The NFL is starting to get in to overkill zone (I still love it, but...overkill).  The NBA, while having the most talent in history, is super boring to me.  Hockey is fun, but whatevs.  Up until 1994, it would be argued baseball was just as big as football.  How about get back to that?  Only difference of course, listen to the Bryce Harper's, make it a tad more interesting...actually, maybe that's my next blog...for all you baseball fanatics out there.

Quick roll call of other things that should come back:

-Dunkaroos
-Saturday morning cartoons
-Rollerblading being "a thing" (Lincoln, Nebraska has the Roller Skating Museum, I so went to that, you should to!)
-MTV's  Yo Mama (Wilmer needs some work!)
-SNICK
-LA Gear shoes

Well that should do it for tonight.  There's clearly a lot of things that need to be brought back, I can't list them all here because, well I'm lazy and I just moved.  So if you have any to add, feel free!

Thanks for reading,

Jeff Kleeman