So I had a blog idea a few weeks ago, it came from a conversation I had with my buddy Kyle Jensen (the North Carolina one, not the Nebraska one I randomly met a few weeks ago...or the other one in Lincoln, or the baseball player...I'll just move on). I had read that Vince McMahon doesn't allow people to sneeze around him, he views it as a sign of weakness. "What would you not let people do, if you were rich?" was the question proposed by Mr. Jensen. Well that's a great idea for a blog!
But it wasn't when I sat down to write it, I couldn't think of anything besides not wanting people to say "we" when referencing their sport teams. It's a minor annoyance, so I ditched the blog idea, wrote something else and offhand included that just to get it out there. Then a few days ago I randomly thought of Dead or Alive Beach Volleyball.
A little background on this game, it was a fighting game series that was called Dead or Alive. Then one year they decided to make a game where just girl characters from the game play volleyball on this island, all scantily clad, super great kids game...it's bonkers. It randomly popped in my head because I was reading about things and people that were canceled (a future blog on that is coming up) and I was like, no freaking way this game comes out today, right?
So then I got to thinking of a video game idea among my friends. One of my best friends is named Cory Beach. Unlimited potential of cool things with that last name (if he goes in to tropical drinks, Cory Beach Drinks, etc). Now I'm not sure who came up with the idea (during that time frame of 2002-2008...there was a lot of drinking, it could be anyone), but the idea was to rescue Cory out of Las Vegas where he had lived for a time. And the only way to get him out of whoever was in charge, holding Cory hostage, was to organize a volleyball tournament and win the tourney. Then of course, if you win the game you win Cory Beach as a playable character.
So then I got to thinking, if I won a ton of money at anytime in my life, the first thing I'm doing is getting this video game made. So instead of making people around me not do something so I'm not annoyed at them...I would maybe throw a get together, (let's say Rat Pack 24....if we even do a 17th this year, I don't know, but let's just say that for story purposes it's Rat Pack 24...) provide a nice little gift and everyone gets a nice copy of Cory Beach Volleyball with a bottle of their favorite liquor and we go play the game (which console? I don't know, for me Playstation 2)!
So since I'm going to need this written down in some form when I hit it big (cryptocurrency, the lottery, finding something valuable and re-selling it...things that involve little to no effort), I'm going to write the story for Cory Beach Volleyball. The characters (if you're not in it, it's fine! I'm just going with eight to ten people). And a brief sequel idea. So without further adieu!
CORY BEACH VOLLEYBALL
Premise:
Cory Beach has been held captive in Las Vegas! The year is 2005, and Cory is working for an evil satellite company, but he cannot get out of the city, nor can he leave his job. He's TRAPPED! His friends in a last ditch effort to save Cory, fly out to Las Vegas to confront his evil boss to save him and return him back home.
The boss (he's going to remain nameless...for now), notices Eric "Ras" Rasmussen wearing a volleyball t-shirt. The boss, being a HUGE volleyball fan, proposes that he will release Cory Beach from his contract, if, and ONLY IF, they can put together a ragtag volleyball team that can defeat the evil companies award winning squad.
The Cast:
As I stated earlier, it can't be all of Cory's friends, but maybe we can do some downloadable content down the line where we add more who didn't make it? Also it's the year 2005 so...whatever, here's the cast!
Eric "Ras" Rasmussen:
Killer serve and a killer personality. Ras doesn't take any guff from anyone, especially on the volleyball court. Every time he's on the court, the best hard rock of 2005 will be playing. Two playable options, one with a beard, one without.
Eric's on the left. The guy on the right...which is Eric's left is:
Dustin Schempp
Deadly spike! Deadly great hair. This dude will destroy anyone in his path to rescue Cory. There will be a scene where you get the Schempp laugh if you win three games in a row. Two playable options, one with a hat, one without.
Brian Varns (So I just got a new computer and haven't transferred old photos up AND Brian got rid of so many pics on Facebook, so enjoy...whatever it is I found on Google which is below)
Danny Gilbertson
Jeff Kleeman
A Jeff of all trades if you will, because he's had so many jobs he can do everything, but just adequately. Only audio will be something that sounds like KAAAAAH every time he hits a volleyball. Two playable options, one with a stocking hat, one without (if it was 2005 I was wearing a stocking hat at all times...I still don't know why). I'm on the left...the man on the right is next!
Kyle "Eugene" Kelly
Do not make this guy mad. So mild mannered, but he's like the Incredible Hulk, if you get him angry WATCH THE HECK OUT! Two playable versions, one with a Dolphins hat, one with a Tiger Woods Nike hat. So many hats!
Aaron Pew
Another lefthander! Watch out Las Vegas, this guy is ready to get Cory out of that damn city if it's the last thing he does...unless the Vikings are playing, then he is an unplayable character in the game. Two playable versions, one with a non ironic Vikings jersey (Randy Moss #84, duh) and one with an ironic jersey (clearly Mitch Berger #...checking Google...17).
Aaron is on the right...the man in the middle is next!
Ryan "Dino" Dineen
Dino! Super tough guy. He can spike the ball, serve the ball, but he will NOT set it. He draws the line at setting it. Great at everything else though (he can spike cuz he's tough, he can serve because he's a great bartender, the setting, the man can't set a table to save his life, he puts the fork on the right side for god sake)! Character will also sing the Burger King Tender Crisp Sandwich song before spiking the ball, then he'll scream WHAAACK!. Two playable options, one with blonde tips in this hair (that happened!) one with a shaved head.
Alex Baker
The heart and soul of the volleyball squad. 14 volleyball championships. 12 MVP's. Until the accident. He won't talk about the accident The best setter of the bunch and a hell of a dancer. How that comes to play in Cory Beach Volleyball? Well you just gotta get the game! If it ever comes out! Two playable options, one with nothing written on his hands, the other with "Hate" and "Pain" written on his hands. One of the levels takes place in "Spain".
Karl Reasoner
He's the man in the middle in the picture above. If you want someone who will play volleyball at 85% efficiency, it's Karl. If you want 100% percent you look down at the ground, scream THE KARL and you get that beast. Two playable characters, duh, they are above, Karl...and The Beast, which is just Karl, but with an angry face.
And there's the characters! Teams of 2 are chosen at any time, some work better together than others. For instance if Pew and Brian are on the same team, both are left handed, that's not right.
8 playable levels from 2005, and they are:
- Spain
- The Double Barrel
- The Dakota Dome Parking Lot
- White Castle (the party house, not the fast food chain)
- The Char Bar
- Pamida
- Canary Beach in Yankton
- Las Vegas strip
The end of the game finds the group of friends getting Cory out of Las Vegas and unlocking him as a playable character. Cuz, duh. Super easy.
Were you expecting more for the dramatic conclusion to the end? Okay then. They get Cory out of Las Vegas. The boss gets buried in the sand after a ferocious spike by Ryan "Dino" Dineen. They all leave to go back to South Dakota. Pan back to the sand, the boss's hand sticks out of it with a 2005 flip phone and calls his cousin in Vermillion. It's cold in Vermillion, so the sequel will be Cory Beach Snowboarding, where all the above characters, plus 8 more playable characters, have to do snowboarding tricks to get Cory out of the cold. HE HATES THE COLD!
Well if you made it this far, this is the most ridiculous blog I've ever written, and I couldn't be happier with it. Two things, apparently everyone hates movie idea blogs, but I'll keep writing them, I don't care (I kinda do!). The second thing, I was just interviewed by a great reporter for South Dakota Public Broadcasting about young people moving away from South Dakota (Google it, it's a good listen)...so hey, my next blog will be about South Dakota...unless it's not!? Stay close, go far!
Until next time.
Jeff
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