So what I AM going to do, I'm going to share certain topics from the old Kleeman Report's from, let's go with the summer of 2006-2007. Chingy was just coming out, T-Pain was just coming in. I watched little to no television, I didn't know what a Netflix was, and the only movies I saw were ones I went to in an actual theater. (I remember seeing Mission Impossible III with Kyle Kelly, and thinking it'd be the last one because it was...not that good, boy was I off! Don't get me started on Tokyo Drift and thinking that'd end the Fast & the Furious Franchise! I also went to Casino Royale with Brad Simons and it began a nice little Eva Green phase, simpler times!).
No masks. No social distancing. No Karen's. No covid. So buckle in, get your ironic trucker hat, get your double polo on (or three tank tops with sequined purse, thanks for the 2006 fashion advice Heather!) and crank this Nelly Furtado jam, off to 2006/07!
It was very refreshing looking through my old blog from 2006 and seeing how impressed my friends and I were with Steel Reserve. When it first hit ooooooh weeeeeee, 8.1% alcohol and it was $8!? And it got us super drunk off of only six beers. Here's the irony, six beers now for my 38 year old self!? That's a fun night. Also you can get any IPA with the alcohol content or even more...and it will taste 10x better.
This is making me nostalgic for the Icehouse though. Years and years of Icehouse. Freedom gas station in Vermillion can thank us for thousands upon thousands of dollars of Icehouse revenue.
There was also a lot of MySpace content, which how did they lose the war!? You could upload your own music on your page and embarrassingly rank your friends. Also Tom clearly is far superior to Mark or the Winklevoss Twins.
Not entirely living on our phones was also nice back then, we just lived on our laptops! In 2006 I got the Verizon Chocolate phone, it could hold 20 songs and take really bad quality pictures...it was the best. The biggest thing missing from cell phones these days is the amazing variety that was offered back then. Let's get back to that! Somebody update the ENV3 for me please. That is, to this day, the single greatest phone ever made.
Binge watching wasn't really a thing for me until I discovered The Office and Lost. But the most comical part of binge watching back then was literally having to get up and switch the disks (at least we didn't have to rewind VHS tapes anymore...cuz that was also a thing), but if you maybe had a few too many you would just go to sleep to the god awful opening title music for whatever you were watching.
Speaking of movies, wasn't it refreshing back then when not every single big movie release was some sort of Disney property or comic book movie? What happened to original ideas? Maybe it's time for myself and Danny Gilbertson to finally write the future summer blockbuster 7 Cent Situation. (I wrote this before myself, Danny and Alex Baker watched Accepted together on Facebook video...it's time to write Brandt!).
The Kardashian's not being around, I just truly didn't appreciate it at the time. And Kanye wasn't awful yet. With the exception of television, entertainment legit just went to shit didn't it? I can't recall really hating any celebrity back then...maybe JLo?
Time for some inside jokes/thoughts about Vermillion during college:
The McDonald's sign was not safe in the summer of 2007.
If you're reading this and I knew you when I went to college, you either met me in the link lab or at the Char Bar. I literally knew everyone's secrets from both of those jobs. And that is terrifying me to this day. Also most will not even know what a "link lab" is.
Vermillion, SD. This ones for you. If you lived in Vermillion at any time during your life, every walk of life can agree on this....there was no better time to live in Vermillion than during the summer.
The most comical/slum lordy thing I read when I went through the old report. We used to have to give THREE MONTHS notice to the landlords to live anywhere for a year. To live in places that had rats, or doors that didn't have handles (I had TWO doors, NO handles, I close both with a lock....WTF!). Add in that we never got our deposit back and Verm was (and still is) full of slum lords taking advantage of college kids. But it was refreshing to see me complain about paying $325 in rent PLUS utilities.
One last thing. I'm really glad I wrote each week of my life from 2005-2012. At the same time I'm really not. Just reading my thoughts and actions from that era, it's a lot to digest...it's good I grew as a person and changed. It's also something I don't think I'm going to re-read until I'm really old. It's funny, I always thought I'd have my kids read that version of the Kleeman Report (over 700 pages, I just looked!)...but after re-reading a few pages, I don't think anyone should touch it, unless it's used to take down anyone politically in the future.
Next weeks blog, I'm not sure yet?! I'd love to do a Q&A for comedy purposes, but the anxious person in me is like, who will respond to that if I post on Facebook? Also speaking with Kyle Jensen, I debated writing one where things that annoy me that would have to go away if I won over 100 million dollars. Example, Vince McMahon hates it when people sneeze, nobody can sneeze around him because that is weakness, that is incredible. Yup, that's it.
Next week, things that have to go WHEN I win 100 million dollars!
Thanks for reading,
Jeff
PS I totally half assed this blog, I'm going to admit it, but it was half written and no way in hell was I going to ditch the entire thing. But hey, thanks for reading!
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