Don't Rush It

I have two blog ideas I really want to write.  But I'm not going to just yet.  I don't want to....rush it.  Don't rush it...hey a name for a blog!

One is going to be an amazing MLM inspired piece.  It's not a take down by any means, you do you if you're selling...whatever it is you sell.  But if I log on Facebook at least one person I know is selling something and it's always the same presentation and pictures and that is the funniest thing in the world to me.  

"If I just drink the juice once a day....my wrinkles will stay away (don't you dare steal that!!!  That is incredible, using it for that future blog, that's going to be the title now instead of MLM Fighter!)."    

So I thought I would write up a funny thing, snap some pics of "the humor" that I have for it, then watch the money roll in on the internet hits I wish I would receive for writing this blog, so then I don't have to work for the man (oh that's sort of the same thing as the MLM thing?  Is it!?). 

The second is the "I just got rich, what will I make people do?" post.  But that idea sucks and it feels like too much work for a one sentence joke.  So what would I do?  If you said "we" when talking about your favorite sports team you have to go to a desert island and watch nothing but their rivals play for the rest of your life until you stop saying "we", you're not on the team old chap.  

So let's jump in to my final Vermillion related post shall we!?  Vermillion Pt. 2 write up...cue the music!

So I don't have MUCH to write about concerning Vermillion, but there is a topic that gets me riled up.   

IF YOU LIVE IN VERMILLION VOTE FOR THE NEW COURTHOUSE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!  As someone who worked there I can attest that it is in fact a really crappy situation, you can literally smell the sewage as you walk in.  It makes no sense to renovate.  The argument that people living far away from downtown and won't be able to get there is invalid since it's the CLAY COUNTY courthouse (that means people outside of the town also need to go there...a lot of Vermillion people don't think about anything but Verm and it shows).  Also you have a bus service.  Also it's the future and there's bikes and roller blades and shoes with wheels in them and you can literally do everything by mail anyway so.....  

The only reason you would want to keep it is because it's "historical".  So historical I can't tell you a single thing that happened there (besides the story I'll tell you shortly...but that story is more HYSTERICAL...wordplay).  But hey keep the workers who work there in misery by keeping a building none of you ever visit (even though it's super historical!) and preserve that dumpster fire of a building.  I don't even think offices should go in there, just tear that mother down.  So here's a fun story from my time there...

Week 2 of my career at the Clay County Treasurer I had to use the restroom at the courthouse.  Tuesday's are court days.  I think nothing of it because it's not weird to share a bathroom for work with a bunch of....interesting people about to go to court, is it?  

I sat there, wondering how I went from my dream job (a TV show host literally weeks ago, which I willingly left) to whatever I was doing at the time (getting autos licensed in a legal, but extremely illegal feeling way to predominantly out of state people who go to live in Mexico or skirt local laws to pay cheaper car renewals in different states...by the way this job was legit super fun and I have a ton of stories, especially from the guy who sent me a lucha libre wrestling mask from Mexico...wow it's just weird describing this job in this run on sentence, I'll write about it sometime in more detail.)

Then my stall door opens, because there wasn't a lock on the door of the stall.  Some dude just opens the door and sees me sitting there.  He asks me if I'm trying to "get my rocks off".  I start to laugh because this is f'ing insane and not at all normal.  No, just trying to use the restroom sir, I hope you enjoyed the view.  As I get out and walk to the sink, I see an older man, looking like he's wearing nothing but a Hawaiian shirt, giving himself a full on bath at the sink.  Soap is on his legs, his face and arms and he asks me "what are you hear for?".  Sir, I'm working but this is starting to feel like jail already lol.  It's roughly 10 AM by the way.  

Literally a few weeks later, another Tuesday because of course, I think nothing weird can happen again right?  Yeah sure, I open the stall door for the bathroom and some crazy ass kid is just standing there, hiding...I legit thought I was going to get shanked so I  ran away in terror from this like 8 year old kid.  I think literally in that moment of running away, I thought, "I gotta move my family back to Nebraska!".  

So anyway, yeah, get those employees the hell out of that courthouse.  I have friends there I legit care about their safety.  

Speaking of Vermillion, so can someone do anything about that old Casey's eye sore as I drive back in to town this summer?  Nothing better than a run down gas station when you hit town, amiright?  One of the future mayors might be reading this, help me, help you!  And that old Pressbox spot, what is exactly going there in 40 years?

Well that's all I got about that town, see it wasn't so bad, just like three things and I didn't say anything too scandalous or make fun of anybody (I still can, but I wont'!).  Verm is a great town once you get past a lot of the fakeness, but that's literally everywhere.  I haven't been there in almost a year, so that'll be it for writing about my beloved hometown until I come back (and hopefully not avoid rocks being thrown at me from my last two Verm-related blogs).

So before I finish up, I have some random thoughts:

- I was looking at my blog numbers, because again I want to get successful at this (which won't happen, but I write because it's my passion...........it's my PASSION I SAY!) and make money off of writing...and I noticed that my biggest blog I've ever written is...THE BIGGEST/BEST/FAVORITE OF LIMP BIZKIT!?!?!?!  WHAT THE HELL!?  That's...that's incredible.  Looks like this blog keeps...Rollin' baby.  

- I saw a guy on social media bragging about having never touched fast food, just belittling people who have tried it or enjoy it (which I took personally because I'm the worst at watching what I eat).  And I wanted to think of something funny that's kind of routine that I would've commented back about and pretended that I haven't done.  Like, I wanted to type, "That's awesome bro, I've never used a computer, how crazy is that!?"  Just to see what the response would be.  But I also hate internet arguments with people I've never met.  So I put it in this blog instead.

- So I want to do a Q&A blog, but as I stated last week, I am completely terrified nobody will ask a question AND I'm terrified of what would be asked.  So if I had an eraser right now for my blog ideas, I would be erasing that one off of my notepad, but then writing it again because it sounds kinda fun.  So just in case, hey what do you got for quetions!?

And I'm DONE!  Next week I'll be writing about...something.  Maybe about the last year down here in Lincoln?  Ya'll want some Lincoln stories or what!?  I still have my parenting advice blog with Danny Gilbertson coming too, which that one sounds fun!

Thanks for reading,

Jeff