You see this picture? This is lovely I-29, outside of Sioux City. Home of the never ending construction. The picture above has been the scene in Sioux City for as long as I can remember.
Now while I do not mind the city itself (minus the smell from a pork plant that is no longer there), a number of amazing restaurants (La Juanita's, you are the bomb), and a delicious Sioux City Sasparilla every summer, the construction is just unbearable!
So what I have decided to do, is make a list (Google hates these, and won't pay me if I do lists, but since I'm a horrible businessman, here you go!). I'm going to list 41 (99 is A LOT of things to list) things that will happen before constuction is completely finished on I-29 in Sioux City. And since hating on construction is universal, if you're reading this and not in the Sioux City area, feel free to add your own personal constuction demons in your neck of the woods. Enjoy!
1. Flying cars
2. O.J. Simpson will admit that he is guilty.
3. Soccer will finally get popular in non-World Cup years.
4. There will be two candidates running for president that both Democrats and Republicans will agree "aren't that bad".
5. The Vikings will win the Super Bowl
6. Pete Rose will make the Hall of Fame
7. World War III.
8. Pauly Shore will win an Oscar for playing an actual weasel.
9. There will be one year without a comic book movie.
10. I'll pay off my student loans.
11. Dr. Dre will release "Detox".
12. Mary Matherly will age (you still look young as hell and I promised you I'd give you a shoutout!)
13. The Simpson's will air it's last episode.
14. People will no longer say "That's what she said".
15. Buzzfeed will run out of quizzes.
16. Snoop Dogg gives up weed...again.
17. I will, one day, win my fantasy football league again.
18. People will stop making an issue of gay marriage.
19. Your future president, Adam from Workaholics.
20. We find out who killed JFK.
21. Sammy Sosa will be black again!
22. The NFL will change to flag football due to concussion research (fantasy football still goes on).
23. Bigfoot will be captured!
24. Verizon will come up with an affordable cell phone plan (hahahaha I'm kidding, that'll never happen).
25. Kim Kardashian's selfie will be on the $50 bill. Sorry Ulysses, should've stepped up your selfie game homey!
26. People will admit global warming is a thing.
27. The NCAA will agree to pay athletes in some way that makes sense for both parties (bring back NCAA Football for videogames! EA make this happen!)
28. People will finally admit Home Improvement wasn't as good as we all remember. Sorry Wilson.
29. The creators of Lost will finally admit they had no idea what was happening the entire time.
30. Amelia Earhart will be found! Alive, froze, just like Captain America.
31. Civil War 2 will erupt, due to warring factions arguing about who is better, Kylie vs Kendall Jenner!? Which side will you take!? We all know where my allegiances lie!
32. They will finally admit, Trix isn't just for kids. #trixlivesmatter
33. North Dakota will change it's name, to Dakota, which will have the same effect on people as James Franco stating his sexuality...zero.
34. Mumps and measles will make a comeback and anti-vaxxers will still be stupid about it.
35. Julia Louis-Dreyfus will admit she is a robot who doesn't age. Seriously, how in the hell!? She is 55 years old!
36. Due to cloning, Jurassic Park becomes a reality, and due to history repeating itself again, they hire this guy:
37. MTV will play music vidoes again.
38. ESPN will release a statement, saying they aren't sure why they pay Matthew Berry or Mel Kiper, Jr. to be "experts" on things they are constantly wrong about. Idiots.
39. The Kleeman Report will be a major website, with the result being my future son or daughter will have his/her own blog about how terrible it is.
40. We'll find out what happened to Jon Snow. RIGHT!?
41. You will have completed reading this blog...maybe.
That's it for today, thanks for reading! I feel I'll eventually get around to the Nintendo Challenge, perhaps starting on it tonight. Until next time...
Jeff Kleeman
No comments:
Post a Comment