We now interrupt the previously scheduled blog, to type about the night it all went to hail. Not literally, it was still a fantastic night. As you can see from the picture above, that I so graciously borrowed from someone I've never met (great pic!), we had quite the storm in Lincoln yesterday.
Now usually I love storms. I LOVE ME SOME STORMS! I like the rain. I like hearing thunder, seeing the lightning... reminds me of a Selena Gomez song.
But not on this night. This night, I had me some Monday Night Raw to attend! So I live in Lincoln, Nebraska, the show was in Omaha. A good 45 minute trip. My friend/wife's coworker/wife's friend-as-well named Adam, had scored some awesome tickets to see the show. I've been a wrestling fan since I was a kid, so I was in. Unfortunately, the weather hates us and had different ideas.
Day of the event (yesterday), the weather was amazing, until literally it was time to leave. Then like a Texas Tornado (get it!?) we got Tornado Punched in to submission by the weather.
Ouch town Mr. Perefct. RIP to the both of you.
A tornado was spotted in Lincoln, 4:30 PM, CT. Show's at 7 PM, so whatevs. Warnings done at 5 PM, we got plenty of time for the tornado to leave, then we head to see some glorious pro wrestling.
Yup....no problem at all. That is until 5 PM hits and it's extended to 5:15 PM, CT. WHY!?
Because of certain rules and regulations, I won't say what my friends job is (not a drug dealer), but he had to finish a part of work for the day. So around 5:45 PM, CT (I don't know why I find it funny I'm putting in CT, but I'm gonna keep doing it) he's done. His coworker (also, not a drug dealer) alerts us that it is still hailing and raining hard outside, which we ignore (she called us idiots...repeatedly), we got wrestling to go see!
We out!
Upon leaving my friend gets a call, current time 5:53 PM, CT (still doing it). His basement has flooded. DAMN IT! We gotta go back and clean that sucker out!
The water was FREEZING on that floor
I would say for a solid 20 minutes, he with a Swiffer and I with a broom, waded the water over to the side of a house with a drain. And I'd like to brag about this, I feel we got rid of a decent sum, AND I found an Inception blu-ray floating towards me, which made me wonder if this was all a dream to begin with!
It was only just a dream - Nelly
6:15 PM, CT, boom, we out. Wrestling time. Are we driving through a rain storm with hail? Um, yes. Did I make 3-4 Halestorm jokes during the drive. Maybe I did...
She gets off...on you!
Show's at 7:00 PM, if we hit it just right, we can get there for the pyro and all that jazz (not literally jazz, think mid-2000's rock). One problem. Lincoln, NE is set up horrendously to get to the interstate, especially if you live in the middle of town. Now I love Lincoln, NE. I'm moving soon, and I will quite miss it, even you crazy Husker fans. But what I will not miss, is your horrendous ROAD SET UP!
6:30 PM, CT, we're on the interstate. Still raining. It is the worst! And in true wrestling speak, us faces, we met our heel. The Basic Bandana Bitch. Triple B. Driving like a mad woman, and this is no fury road (references galore today!). She is a lane changing! Woooo! Hydo-planing! Wooo! Non-personal landscaping (assuming)! Woo! Son of a gun. She is pure evil. And if she is still alive after how she drove, you are unstoppable, and even the 4 Horsemen (of the Apocalypse or wrestlers) couldn't stop you.
Your'e driving crazy tonight! - Ric Flair, probs at one point
7:08 PM, CT. We made it. Homeboy Adam (not his real nickname) got us parking passes directly in the arena area. Baller status. We did it, wrestling time.
If you're unfamiliar with my wrestling recaps (and most of you are), let me explain the process here. I like to recap for people who may not watch WWE, in a humorous, yet informative way. So I'll go match by match, providing recaps, real time stories and personal thoughts on the night. So let's start where every story usually does (non-Tarantino ones anyway) at the beginning.
7 Feet Tall
We got in right as the legendary Chris Jericho was "getting in to it" with the new up-and-comer Big Cass...who is SEVEN FEET TALL AND YOU CAN'T TEACH THAT!
Cass has a side-kick/tag team partner named Enzo Amore, but he is injured after damn near being guillotined by the ropes last week. So here he is, confronting Jericho and being awesome. In five years, Big Cass will be huge, feel free to reference this site.
Guess which one I've met!?
The next match was Dolph Ziggler (Amy Schumer ex, Jeff Kleeman hater), fan favorite, loser of all matches, but should be more famous and higher on the card then he is, versus Baron Corbin, recent call up, former Arizona Cardinal and future endorser of Rogaine.
Average match, the crowd was oddly in to Corbin who is the bad guy. Fans are so fickle these days!
No picture needed for the next match. It's too depressing, although one of my favorites, Tyler Breeze, made it on the show which is nice.
If Zoolander was a wrestler.
For those of you who don't know who he is, and you should because he's great, Breeze is a male model, Zoolander type and walks out with a selfie stick, so clearly he's a bad guy. I think they even won, I tried to get food because I was starving so I have no clue.
This is her house!!! Sort of...
Luckily I made it back from my food fail, because up next is WWE Women's Champion Charlotte versus my personal favorite lady on the show, Paige (shown above). Think a goth lady, possibly suffers from being bi-polar, and loves wearing black.
Her opponent Charlotte is Ric Flair's daughter, which, while she is great, means they draw back on everything her dad did, robe included.
Woooooo!
Only thing missing is three lackey's for her to be the boss of...which won't be far off, and would be a great idea actually (Emma, Dana Brooke and Summer maybe?).
Ole ole ole ole!
Up next was the match of the night. The Miz, the bad guy "Hollywood" guy with his pretty wife Maryse (spotted below) and up and comer Sami Zayn. Sami Zayn is one of their most talented people they have, and the crowd was way in to it. The Miz is great at being a bad guy, I believe I even threw a couple zingers about his Real World past (nobody got my Coral joke, look it up). I'm 33 by the way. You'll be reminded of that later on.
The Miz and Maryse
Next is the WWE WORLD CHAMPION Roman Reigns and his cousins the Uso's versus AJ Styles and, let's just call them the Bullet Club...or "The Club" as they are now referred to.
The champ...is....hated.
Roman Reigns is cousins with the Rock. So they are trying to make him in to a hybrid version of The Rock and John Cena, so older, smarter people hate him. Kids love him. Simple as that. His opponent is AJ Styles, one of the best wrestlers in the world AND Billy Ray Cyrus lookalike.
Don't tear his heart!
The match was pretty fun, and insanely loud, again, quite the surprise as the WWE are starting a "new era" so guys like AJ Styles and Sami Zayn are still incredibly new, but the fans were really getting behind them, which is promising. Match ended in a DQ because on these shows, you can never have either side convincingly win, because they need you to buy the pay per view or the WWE Network, for the convenient price of $9.99 (they may have said that a time or two last night)!
Perfect timing on the picture
That beautiful man is Kevin Owens. He is a dick. And he is awesome. He's an awesome dick. He faced off against Zach Ryder, beat him, end of story. Kevin Owens deserves the world, and you should follow him on Twitter, he is such a great family man and calls out jerks on the internet (I hope he's not mad I called him a dick! It was a compliment!).
Some kids just hit puberty
That saucy minx above is Lana. She is the manager of her real life fiance Rusev, who is this guy.
Rusev crush
Moral of the story, don't even look at Lana. I won't get too in to this one, because I ran to get some swag. And also because he faced a team called the Lucha Dragons, and they kinda bore me. And that's not hating on lucha libre, because I LOVE Lucha Underground, I just can't get in to them. Sorry, not sorry. But at least you got some Lana!
It's a NEW DAY!
The part that my wife and I were most excited for, was a group called The New Day. They consist of Xavier Woods, Big E and Kofi Kingston. Here they are...
Best photo bomb ever from the wife.
They are amazing. Their swag has shirts of them riding a unicorn, unicorn horns, and my personal favorite...a cereal box. Did I buy one? Damn right I did. I'm 33.
These ain't booty!
They faced off against the Dudley Boyz. Sadly they lost, but they won that night...they won all of Omaha's hearts.
The final part of the night, was surprisingly not a match, as Chris Jericho was jumped by his rival Dean Ambrose. As you can see below, Ambrose stole his coat, and proceeded to cut it with scissors, ruining that beautiful jacket.
Ruined a perfectly good jacket!
Thankfully that was the end of the night, as we were exhausted. It was a perfect storm...if you will, of a memorable night. One that Adam surely will never forget, being his first (probably last) wrestling event. As you can see below, you can flood his home and take away his sleep, but you can't take away his fun (I have no reverse flood analogy, that just sucks what happened to the house)!
He will never be the same.
And as always, to my lovely wife Heather, who goes on these trips with no fuss and arguably gets more in to it than me, you rule. Below is her selfie with Chris Jericho yelling at us behind her!
Behind us, Jericho is VERY UPSET about the jacket!
As always, thank you all for reading, eventually I'll get around to this Nintendo game blog, but dammit, I'm an adult, I don't have time for such childish stuff! You'll be getting some other stuff as well, including a reflection on my three years here in Lincoln, Nebraska coming to a close. That should be a good one!
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